Feeds

Ikea forecasts fluffy, fully teched kitchen of the future

Fish'n'chipboard

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Thirty years from now, your kitchen will be "almost alive" and "respond actively" to your culinary needs "like only a mother could".

That's the fearsome prediction made today by that noted purveyor of plywood, Ikea, in the latest press release to make its contribution to the Silly Season in the hope of drumming up some column inches.

And since it'll all be the product of technology, we won't disappoint the company.

According to Ikea, advances in sensing and integration will mean that "LED light projections adjust to your mood - it will know if you have a hangover via sensors that will read your brainwaves. Aromatherapy infused walls will be synced to your calendar, calming you before a big meeting or energising you before a gym session. The fridge will have selected some breakfast options, identifying the essential vitamins for your day via sensors. When you get home, a hologrammed chef will be on hand for recipe inspiration."

In short, this molly-coddling kitchen won't tell you to eat up your greens because people are starving in India and you won't get any pudding if you don't. Nor will it nag you to hurry up and get off to school - or won't send you down the shops for cake and fags.

They may sound like a band of Wallander ne'er-do-wells, but Intuitiv, Elementara and Skarp are the concept kitchens cooked up by Ikea to show how the fluffy, friendly kitchen of the future might operate. Skarp will be packed with gadgetry for folk who want bright, shiny push-button sustenance, while Elementara will offer an eco-friendly alternative that harnesses technology to help the planet, man.

Intuitiv - the maternal one - simply does it all for you.

“The Intuitiv kitchen is a possible kitchen of the future with over one third of the UK population - 41 per cent - expecting that by 2040 we won’t even have to cook for ourselves,” said Carole Reddish, Ikea UK's second in command.

Since rather a lot of us don't do so in 2010, preferring instead the lure of the microwaveable ready meal or Maccy Dees, we'd say there's a good chance that, in 30 years' time, more than a few Brits will be trundling around on bellywheels like the Fatties of 2000AD's Judge Dredd series.

In which case, we certainly won't be needing Ikea's fluffy services, thank you. ®

Bootnote
Ikea's concepts come from an organisation called The Future Laboratory, which describes itself as a "brand strategy, consumer insight and trends research consultancy". Can't you just hear the whalesong?

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing
Only another three days of pooing and I can have a ride!
Official: European members prefer to fondle Apple iPads
Only 7 of 50 parliamentarians plump for Samsung Galaxy S
Fujitsu CTO: We'll be 3D-printing tech execs in 15 years
Fleshy techie disses network neutrality, helmet-less motorcyclists
Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode
Frontier cops an epic kicking in its own forums ahead of December revival
Nexus 7 fandroids tell of salty taste after sucking on Google's Lollipop
Web giant looking into why version 5.0 of Android is crippling older slabs
Dragon Age Inquisition: Our chief weapons are...
Bioware's fantasy forces in fine fettle
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.