Feeds

Lindsay Lohan released from screaming lesbian ordeal

Exits jail after 13 days

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has been released from jail after serving just 13 days of her 90-day sentence for breaching parole.

According to the BBC, Lohan walked from Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California earlier today, having survived screaming lesbian gangs, malevolent screws and turkey with apple sauce and broccoli.

The talented actress was caged on 20 July for violating her probation on a 2007 drink-driving charge. The inside word was that she was unlikely to survive the ordeal, but she's apparently none the worse for wear and can now get down to the serious business of attending a 90-day rehab programme.

Assuming she doesn't fall off the wagon and land herself back in chokey, Lohan is due to get to grips with Linda Lovelace in upcoming biopic Inferno. We assume the role will also involve getting to grips with other meaty challenges, and we look forward to the thesp's throaty, full-frontal performance in due course. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.