Feeds

Lindsay Lohan released from screaming lesbian ordeal

Exits jail after 13 days

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

Bespeckled thespiatrix Lindsay Lohan has been released from jail after serving just 13 days of her 90-day sentence for breaching parole.

According to the BBC, Lohan walked from Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California earlier today, having survived screaming lesbian gangs, malevolent screws and turkey with apple sauce and broccoli.

The talented actress was caged on 20 July for violating her probation on a 2007 drink-driving charge. The inside word was that she was unlikely to survive the ordeal, but she's apparently none the worse for wear and can now get down to the serious business of attending a 90-day rehab programme.

Assuming she doesn't fall off the wagon and land herself back in chokey, Lohan is due to get to grips with Linda Lovelace in upcoming biopic Inferno. We assume the role will also involve getting to grips with other meaty challenges, and we look forward to the thesp's throaty, full-frontal performance in due course. ®

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up distributed data
Eliminating the redundant use of bandwidth and storage capacity and application consolidation in the modern data center.
The essential guide to IT transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIOs automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.