Feeds

Cross-dresser shags mutt at historic castle

Hot heritage dry moating action

The Power of One Infographic

A lone, predatory cross-dresser has been cautioned for outraging public decency after having sex with a dog in the moat of an English Heritage castle, the Telegraph reports.

The incident at Henry VIII's Pendennis Castle, which overlooks Cornwall's Falmouth Bay, took place at "around a quarter to 12" on Saturday 10 July, when the attraction was "heaving with visitors".

A pair of dog-walking women spotted the 33-year-old tranvestite, who was sporting a black dress, strolling around the "steep-walled, empty moat".

One of their mutts ill-advisedly chased the deviant, and by the time the owner caught up, the man had engaged the pet in some hot heritage dry moating.

Staff intervened and restrained the perp until police turned up to administer a well-deserved cuffing. He was taken home, made a "full and frank confession", and was slapped with the caution.

A spokesman for English Heritage not unreasonably summarised: "This was a very rare incident."

But is it as rare as admitting to your vet that sex with your dog isn't as fulfilling as it used to be?

That's exactly what Florida resident Armand M Pacher did last week, when an Aventura clinic called him to reschedule eye surgery for his two-and-a-half year old Great Dane, provocatively named Christie Brinkley.

During the conversation with a surgery worker, Pacher allegedly said: "She doesn't seem to enjoy it as much when we have sex. Maybe it's because I haven't been as energetic lately and that's why she's not enjoying it."

When Pacher and Brinkley later went to the clinic, a vet "concluded that the spayed dog's body had evidence of forced sexual activity" which "could not have come from another dog".

Cue a swift arrest and a spell in a Miami-Dade prison on a rap which carries a possible five years in jail.

Pacher's attorney, Jeffrey Weiner, said his dog-loving client had not made the alleged statement, and claimed the worker had misunderstood a wisecrack.

He said: "I'm quite familiar with the evidence that exists, and I'm really disappointed that Aventura police would make an arrest based on unsupported evidence and conclusions. I expect my client will be fully vindicated." ®

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.