Feeds

Middle-aged sex: The X-rated photo guide

We make the effort, so you don't have to

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

Shagging in the dark is, of course, an effective way of sparing your partner the sight of your decrepit, sagging flesh. Let's be honest, it's the decent thing to do, but if you think you can keep it under wraps indefinitely, think again...

Going through the airport perv scanner

Yup, sooner or later, you're going to be politely invited to step into an airport perv scanner, where millimetre waves will lovingly map every flaccid contour for perusal by a highly-trained security operative.

Or rather, millimetre waves will lovingly map every flaccid contour for the entertainment of delighted staff, including a couple of passing baggage handlers, who've just spotted those nipple rings you had done one Saturday afternoon when the mid-life crisis bit hard and you'd spent a mournful morning in the shed downing beer and listening to your old Clash CDs.

Your image viewed on the perv scanner, to the delight of operatives

Still, once the pictures pop up on the internet, there's a reasonably good chance that no one at work will recognise you, isn't there?

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.