Avro Vulcan - The Owners' Workshop Manual
Handy Haynes guide for V-bomber operators
DIY vehicle fixers' favourite Haynes has added a new title to its roster of vintage aircraft guides: the Avro Vulcan Owners' Workshop Manual.
The blurb explains: "The awesome Avro Vulcan is an enduring image of the Cold War era when the world stood on the brink of nuclear annihilation. For many years the RAF’s delta-wing jet bomber was the cornerstone of Britain’s nuclear deterrent.
"In the Avro Vulcan Manual you can read all about the Vulcan’s operational history and take a close-up look at its complex construction. Discover what it was like to fly the mighty V- bomber during the Cold War, including the legendary long range ‘Black Buck’ missions in the Falklands War."
The book centres around the restoration and return to flight of the Vulcan to the Sky Trust's XH558. To mark the book's launch, Haynes snapped the aircraft's crew chief, Kev "Taff" Stone, giving her the once over this week, suitably armed:
The Avro Vulcan joins the Supermarine Spitfire, Avro Lancaster, Messerschmitt Bf109 and De Havilland Tiger Moth in Haynes' flying catalogue. They'll soon be joined by the Aérospatiale-BAC Concorde, Hawker Hurricane and North American P-51 Mustang, should you be planning an imminent rebuild of any of these.
The Avro Vulcan Owners' Workshop Manual costs £19.99, and is available right here. ®
Haynes Manuals - Simplified
Ah: Haynes Workshop manuals. There are many phrases and euphemisms which bear translation into everyday English. Here are just a few that may be in the Vulcan Version
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read right through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Prise off...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: PINGGGG - "Jesus, where the hell did that go?"
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part (and maybe a plaster or two).
Haynes: Lightly slacken...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned you!
Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: An infant could do this... so how did you manage to **** it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, teensy weensy number... but you also thought the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact, that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating.
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You're not seriously considering this are you?
Haynes: Five spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don't ever transport your loved ones in it again.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, throw it at the garage wall, then find some molegrips and a hammer...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife, "Yep, it's as I thought, it's going to need a new one"
Translation: You are about to suffer serious abrasions.
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Difficult to reach ...
Translation: Assembled at the factory and never meant to be touched.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking pit of your stomach feeling has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: Yeah, right. But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone (but don't forget your molegrips and hammer!)
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Alternatively, clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Translation: List of all the things in the book, bar what you need to do.
@Daniel1 -What are you on?
How many crews, exactly, were lost due to a problem with the rudder? Try and see what happens when you open one side up but not the other in ANY airplane, from something the size of a B52 down to your average Cessena or Beech light twin.
How many crashed simply because they flew at altitudes "where people could see them" and not because the pilot forgot there was a large chunk of steel between him and the ground below? (setting aside the question of how they could ever take off or land if they weren't able to fly safely within eyesight range? And how high would they need to fly for someone with average eyesight to not be able to see them?).
And where the hell did you get the idea a modern delta will only fly if a computer helps out? Do you know anything about aeronautical science, or are you just basing your "facts" on the fact your old man didn't like flying in them?
Things like the Eurofighter Typhoon or the B2 only need computer "assistance" because they are deliberatley designed to be UNstable - the biggest problem with landing the Vulcan was the lovely big cushion of air that got trapped beneath all that wing - but even that wasn't dangerous per se, just a minor annoyance.
Comparing the Vulcan to a Starfighter is like comparing a Mini Metro to a drag-racing bike - one is designed to get you there and back, with an almost useful load, while the other is intended to get you to your destination as fast as possible...
Let me guess, you've never flown a real aeroplane but you're a fantastic pilot in Microsoft's Flight Simulator, or Tom Clancy's HAWX on X-Box. Way to go, champ.
...let's hope the publishers pass some of the profits over to XH558's owners, or the book is all we'll have. If anyone reading this article thinks they'd like to support the VTTS Trust, go here:
and give them lots of lovely money to keep 558 flying!