Feeds

World Cup in your pocket: iPhone vuvuzelas

Live your WAG fantasies

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

With the World Cup now underway, iPhone owners can download a plethora of apps that can turn their Jobsian handhelds into simulacra of that ear-splittingly infuriating noisemaker, the vuvuzela.

Should you choose the convenience of a pocketable vuvuzela rather than branding yourself as an obnoxious doofus by carrying the actual meter-long conical plastic horn, you can choose a free digital noisemaker such as Vuvuzela 2010, Virtual Vuvuzela (also available for Android), or Pocket Vuvuzela.

iVuzela

With iVuzela, you can blow your own country-specific horn

Another free app, Vuvuzela Championship Free can be upgraded to the two-player Vuvuzela World Cup (99¢), with which you can compete with a friend to see who can be the bigger blowhard,

Another, Annoying Footbal Horns: Vuvuzela Edition (99¢), can also be found in a Blighty-specific edition, England Fan Pack: Annoying Footbal Horns + (99¢), which adds a drum, rattle, and air horn to your musical arsernal, plus crowd chants, multiple-vuvuzela ensembles, and links to streaming video for "favourite England Songs, 3 Lions, World in Motion, etc".

England Fan Pack: Annoying Footbal Horns +

The Blighty-specific England Fan Pack: Annoying Footbal Horns + provides a vuvuzela chorus

Among your other options are iVuzela (99¢), which sounds when you blow into your iPhone's microphone à la Smule's überpopular Ocarina, as does WC Instruments 2010 (99¢), which adds an air horn, rattle, and drum — you don't blow to make those noises, thankfully — just tap to annoy.

One horn-imitating app, Vuvuzela ($1.99), actually has a useful side, with the addition of match and player info, including card-counts. Vuvuzaga (99¢), includes a game in which you can choose an avatar — including a "size-zero WAG" — and crusade to banish vuvuzelas. WorldCupKit (99¢) adds more instruments, "creative" ejaculations such as "Ole!" and a burp, and the ability to record your own playable commentaries.

Vuvuzaga

In Vuvuzaga, you can choose an avatar and go on a vuvuzela-banning mission

Finally, you could equip your iPhone with the multinational, multi-noisemaker FanBattle (99¢). Although this app's App Store write-up is in German, its description ends with a note "For all the English speaking people" that reads: "Just buy it. No Sense. It's just one dollar. Or to quote Gary Lineker: 'Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.'" ®

Bootnote

Here in The Reg's San Francisco nerve center, we received word Monday morning from a collegue in our London headquarters that British PC users have been warned about a Robert Green virus. It seems, wrote he, that when it infects your PC, it makes it unable to save.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20
It was 20 years ago today, Marc Andreeesen taught the band to play
Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function
Content aggregation, meet the workplace ... oh
Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM
Honestly, it’s a piece of piss
Return of the Jedi – Apache reclaims web server crown
.london, .hamburg and .公司 - that's .com in Chinese - storm the web server charts
NetWare sales revive in China thanks to that man Snowden
If it ain't Microsoft, it's in fashion behind the Great Firewall
Chrome 38's new HTML tag support makes fatties FIT and SKINNIER
First browser to protect networks' bandwith using official spec
Admins! Never mind POODLE, there're NEW OpenSSL bugs to splat
Four new patches for open-source crypto libraries
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.