Feeds

Google spymobile snaps self jumping to light speed

Orwellian Opel goes interdimensional

High performance access to file storage

Those of you who've been waiting since the 1960s for that bloody flying car you were promised will be a bit hacked off to learn that Google is already way ahead of we mere mortals when it comes to advanced vehicular technology.

Consider if you will the strange case of the London Orwellian black Opel, seen here making the jump to interdimensional light speed prior to returning through the space/time-busting portal to photograph iteself just moments before it took a handy shortcut from Lower Grosvenor Place:

Black Opel seen jumping to light speed on Street view

Quite remarkable. This, of course, explains just how the Great Satan of Mountain View was able to bust the privacy of the whole of Europe in such a remarkably short space of time, viz: there's actually just one spymobile with the ability to spatially and geographically shift at the touch of a (presumably large) red button on the dashboard.

The alternative, black-helicopter-free explanation is that the Minions of Brin travel in pairs, the better to repel the unwanted advances of disgruntled Viking frogmen. You decide which truth is the less implausible. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.