Feeds

Google spymobile snaps self jumping to light speed

Orwellian Opel goes interdimensional

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Those of you who've been waiting since the 1960s for that bloody flying car you were promised will be a bit hacked off to learn that Google is already way ahead of we mere mortals when it comes to advanced vehicular technology.

Consider if you will the strange case of the London Orwellian black Opel, seen here making the jump to interdimensional light speed prior to returning through the space/time-busting portal to photograph iteself just moments before it took a handy shortcut from Lower Grosvenor Place:

Black Opel seen jumping to light speed on Street view

Quite remarkable. This, of course, explains just how the Great Satan of Mountain View was able to bust the privacy of the whole of Europe in such a remarkably short space of time, viz: there's actually just one spymobile with the ability to spatially and geographically shift at the touch of a (presumably large) red button on the dashboard.

The alternative, black-helicopter-free explanation is that the Minions of Brin travel in pairs, the better to repel the unwanted advances of disgruntled Viking frogmen. You decide which truth is the less implausible. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.