Feeds

Google spymobile snaps self jumping to light speed

Orwellian Opel goes interdimensional

Security for virtualized datacentres

Those of you who've been waiting since the 1960s for that bloody flying car you were promised will be a bit hacked off to learn that Google is already way ahead of we mere mortals when it comes to advanced vehicular technology.

Consider if you will the strange case of the London Orwellian black Opel, seen here making the jump to interdimensional light speed prior to returning through the space/time-busting portal to photograph iteself just moments before it took a handy shortcut from Lower Grosvenor Place:

Black Opel seen jumping to light speed on Street view

Quite remarkable. This, of course, explains just how the Great Satan of Mountain View was able to bust the privacy of the whole of Europe in such a remarkably short space of time, viz: there's actually just one spymobile with the ability to spatially and geographically shift at the touch of a (presumably large) red button on the dashboard.

The alternative, black-helicopter-free explanation is that the Minions of Brin travel in pairs, the better to repel the unwanted advances of disgruntled Viking frogmen. You decide which truth is the less implausible. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.