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Sam Mendes to helm new Jesus Phone ads

Featuring video chat. Yes, people, VIDEO CHAT

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

As the world restlessly kicks its heels ahead of the 7 June launch of the next manifestation of the Jesus Phone, it's been revealed that the Church of Jobs has recruited American Beauty director Sam Mendes to helm a series of TV ads for the miracle device.

The revelation comes courtesy of Engadget, which spotted evidence on the Twittosphere in which one hopeful thespian said he was about to "audition tomorrow for a F***ing apple commercial directed by Sam Mendes" and that according he was "going to pray for like 24 hours straight for a miracle".

And if that news is not enough to get fanbois creaming in their Cupertino-branded iPants, one of the commercials will apparently feature "a mother and daughter ... having a video chat conversation".

This means, of course, that the new device must have a forward-facing camera, as suggested by Gizmodo iPhonegate scandal. That's right - the new iPhone has a forward-facing camera and VIDEO CHAT. Now sit down, take deep breaths and contemplate just how you're going to fill the meaningless void between now and 7 June. ®

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