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Why can't you see
What you're doin' to me
When you don't believe a word I say?

This month the Irish singer Ronan Keating was turfed out of the family home after his wife rifled through a bag and found his "secret mobile phone", containing sexting messages from a horizontal dancing partner.

Here we have a suspicious wife turned snoop.

Keating was too stupid to cover his tracks, but what do women do with sneakier men who they think are playing away?

They turn into organic surveillance cameras, that's what. Some of them, anyway, but the point is they are twice as likely to spy on their husbands as their husbands are to spy on them.

A UK study of 920 British couples found that 14 per cent of wives spy on their husband's email, 13 per cent read their text messages and 10 per cent check web browser logs.

Spousal surveillance

“One of the surprising findings was that spousal surveillance was undertaken more often by wives than husbands,” said Ellen Helsper of the London School of Economics and Monica Whitty of Nottingham Trent University, who co- authored the research, the Sunday Times reports.

“This contrasts with general research that suggests that women are less technologically skilled than men. It seems that they are able to overcome these barriers when they feel that their relationship is at stake.”

This sounds more like evidence of Bunny Boilerdom than of any technical ability. Where are the keyloggers, the planted viruses, the password crackers, the GPS trackers, the disguised spycams?

Oh, so that's just my wife...but hey, I'm sure she's not reading this.

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