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One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us

80 per cent disagree - presumably extraterrestrials

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One-fifth of the world's population believes that aliens walk among us, disguised as Homo sapiens for an unknown, but doubtless chilling purpose.

That's according to a Reuters Ipsos poll, which probed 23,000 adults in 22 countries, and discovered that India is an epicentre of ET activity, with 45 per cent convinced the invasion has already begun.

The Chinese, too, clocked up a substantial 42 per cent of believers, followed by third-placed Japan with 29 per cent.

The Belgians, Dutch and Swedes are having none of it, bottoming out the list with a mere eight per cent. Blighty, meanwhile, scored 16 per cent - a figure perhaps artificially boosted by followers of David Icke.

The overall average of those saying yes, the lizard people have arrived, was 20 per cent, and while the 80 per cent who scoff at such claims is ostensibly heartening, it is of course possible they're aliens themselves - in which case they would say that, wouldn't they?

While you're pondering that worrying conspiracy theory, and nervously eyeing your workmates, here's another finding which may or may not be significant: men are more likely than women to believe in the extraterrestrial presence (22 and 17 per cent, respectively). We leave it you to draw your own conclusions from the disparity. ®

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Not as shocking as it may sound

Don't forget that even more people seem to believe in some kind of deity.

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Idiots

Check out how many people vote on X-Factor every week or how many watch Eastenders.

Idiots walk amongst us everyday I find that much more disturbing.

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Alien visitations

It still staggers me to think that humans are so egocentric that some super hyper advanced lifeform (which, obligatorily, looks just like us) can span vast distances of space, travel through wormholes, faster than the speed of light, and generally bend the universe to their demands...

...and they'd come HERE. A planet full of people who still believe in God. Not just *a* God, but many different ideas of that one God, to whom we'd readily kill each other in defence of. A planet full of people who have yet to step beyond their own satellite, maybe. Or was it faked? A planet full of people with grandiose ideas of The Federation keeping control of the vastness of space, while in reality we can only just about get different countries to agree on things if we push hard enough. A planet full of people who essentially defecate all over their terrain, and then pretend it isn't happening, and when it is too late to stop chaos from unfolding, it'll be a punishment sent from the heavens. And we're right back to the beginning of the paragraph. Repeat until False.

You think alien life would willingly come HERE? Yeah, right.

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