Woman finds Romanian living in shed
Mail readers fire up the Tw*t-O-Tron
Readers of the Daily Mail have fired up the Twat-O-Tron at the shock news that a Bromley woman found a Romanian living in her garden shed.
Now, we're not sure if Romanian shed-dwellers represent a greater threat to Middle England than their Lithuanian counterparts, but shaken 22-year-old Tilly Newman is determined that that her shed will in future be completely Romanian-free after police intervention was required to persuade her uninvited guest to shove off.
Newman discovered her tenant crashed on the garden furniture when she "went to spring clean her shed, which she hadn't used since January". She recounted: "He was just lying there quite happily and put two thumbs up at me when I opened the shed door and said 'Nice shed'. It was all very bizarre."
He told his landlady: "I have got nowhere to live and I have been here for a month."
Newman stressed the bizarreness of the encounter, adding: "He was drinking a carton of orange juice and then put it in the correct recycling box and it was quite bizarre, almost as if he lived there."
Indeed, the Romanian vagrant had made himself quite at home, as one neighbour explained: "We wondered who he was. We saw him a couple of times eating in the garden when the family were out and he said hello. He looked so at home we presumed he was a friend of the family and didn't say anything."
As soon as they rumbled him, Newman and her mum "took the man to a nearby police station where officers told her he was on bail for a public order offence". Cops ordered him "not to return to the shed", but he showed up again last Sunday. Police were "alerted" and he hasn't been seen since.
Newman, evidently unconvinced the Romanian shed menace has been neutralised, has now fitted a new lock on the outbuilding, and insisted: "I want the police to do more to stop him from coming back. I thought when we brought him to the police station that it would be the end of it. But he has come back and we are not having it anymore."
Quite right, agree Mail readers. Outraged of Cheltenham writes: "Thank you New Liarbore for the open gate policy on EU immigration only adopted by no more than 2 other members. This homeless immigrant-and others- should be directed to the address of the nearest New Liarbore minister for accommodation etc."
A vigilant "He who watches, UK - NOT EU !", meanwhile, chips in with: "She should be very careful here, she is in great danger of infringing his human rights to live in her shed, and the police could well arrest her for ' bad attitude against immigrants and seeking to destroy his lifestyle.
"He only needs to state now that he is a fundamental extremist, and the local council will give him permission to leave the shed and stay in the comfort of her spare bedroom and shw will have to cook for him, until he gets enough benefits to be able to buy a car and drive out for a meal."
The Mail has a picture of Newman and her shed in happier, immigrant-free times right here. ®
Re: The Daily Mail
No, there really are people like that. Hordes of them, who believe everything they say.
Also, a Venn diagram of this place and that place would show a considerable overlap.
Re: I think I'm in love
Until she's got two sheds she's not worth bothering with.
Perhaps if people actually READ the EU legislation...
...yes, it is a fairly free access pass around Europe, but with strings attached so you don't go to a country with nicer weather and sponge off the state there. Like the hot topic for Spanish and French ex-pats who are finding difficulties with medical cover. Like those who took early retirement in their mid-50s. Their E-whatever has run out, they don't get the 121 for being on a pension. The UK ain't gonna pay anything, and France/Spain sure as hell aren't going to cough up anything until you have been living there legally for at least five years. Oh, and living legally means making tax declarations, not saying "I pay tax in England" while ignoring it (and saying to the UK that tax is paid in France, more often than not).
These countries are quite right to tell such people to bugger off. Likewise there is always a problem with a certain type of immigrant, but they find the place less desirable as, eventually, they get rounded up and kicked out.
That the UK hasn't adopted a similar policy is NOT a fault of the EU. It is epic-bloody-fail on the part of the UK government, and every single wanky Daily Fail reader that would throw up their arms and vote NO to EU-anything on principle. If you took your head out of your asses long enough to figure out the actual legislation (four hundred paragraphs all stating with "Whereas..."), they might realise what's on paper is not quite the same as The Big Lie they believe. But it is pointless arguing the case, for when they realise the topic is the EU, they'll switch on "self-righteous prick" mode.
As for the guy in the shed, I'd be rather inclined to say "there's the mower, there's the shears, keep the garden in good shape, mate", close the door, walk away. FFS, if he reckons classy is a garden shed, he's been through a lot more crap than I ever have...