Feeds

Turk unwraps doner kebab robot

Automated death wrapped in pitta bread

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

A Turkish Cypriot has unveiled what represents the cutting edge of death wrapped in pitta bread tech: the automated doner kebab meat slicing robot, capable of delivering vast quantities of perfectly-hewn nourishment.

The FFDR-V1004. Pic: Döner RobotuThe FFDR-V1004 is the brainchild of 34-year-old Ahmet Kalyoncu, whose Döner Robotu operation is set to revolutionise a German market in which kebab shop owners each year lovingly prepare 400 million post-Bierkeller face-fillers.

Kalyoncu presented his FFDR-V1004 to the world's first kebab trade fair, held in Berlin over the weekend. He proudly told Agence France-Presse the machine represents "the first kebab robot anywhere in the world", but insisted it wouldn't threaten the livelihoods of the estimated 74,000 people who work in the country's 15,000 kebab shops.

The FFDR-V1004's principal advantage is one of hygiene, Kalyoncu said. He explained: “Döner kebab slicers, when they are cutting the meat, get very sweaty because they are close to the grill. We take that problem out, so it’s better in the end for the customer.”

Given that the deadly effects of the doner kebab are well documented, we at El Reg doubt that removing the Turkish sweat ingredient will do much to improve punters' life expectancy, but since the machine can dispense "as many as 120 portions of kebab in an hour", it should do much cut the critical waiting time between staggering into the establishment and getting your laughing gear round a lethal dose of salt and saturated fat.

Agence France-Presse interestingly notes that the doner kebab was likely invented in Germany in 1971 by Turkish immigrant Mahmut Aygün. Since then it has become a local staple, as well as conquering Britain with its irresistible combination of grease and chilli sauce. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.