Jesus Phone to exhibit holy gift of bilocation
Jobsian prophets predict multitasking for iPhone 4.0
Apple will add multitasking to the Jesus Phone this summer with the release of the divine handset's version 4.0 software update, according to a report citing anonymous people who have accurately predicted Jobsian behavior in the past .
AppleInsider reports that iPhone OS 4.0 will offer a "full-on solution" to multitasking, though the publication's sources did not provide specifics on how the solution will work to reduce the drain on system resources.
In the past, Apple has said that unfettered multitasking would put too much of a drain on the Jesus Phone battery.
AppleInsider's sources did reveal that the company will provide a multitasking manager that taps technology already included with the Mac OS, but they said the new iPhone 4.0 is still under development and has "a way to go" before completion.
Only a heretic would claim that the Jesus Phone is incapable of multitasking. The ability to act in two places at the same time has long been a sign of divine recognition - a gift from the Holy Spirit - and this saint-like talent for "bilocation" was bestowed on Apple's Holy Handset from the beginning.
Built from the same kernel as Apple's Mac OS, the iPhone OS supports full preemptive multitasking - and always has. But it chooses not to exhibit this divine gift with third-party applications. The current version only allows multitasking with certain core Apple applications, including the system phone, SMS, email and the handset's iPod software.
The imminent Apple iPad is also capable of multitasking, but it too will only exhibit this gift with certain bundled apps.
These Latter Day Saints of Cupertino are not to be confused with St Joseph of Cupertino, who was said to be capable not only of bilocation but levitation as well. Different Cupertino. Different century. But equally Holy. ®
"Jesus himself was a first-class punster..."
I've heard that live his act is much "bluer" than the recorded versions. Goes down a storm on the Northern club circuit.
Surely you meant the IPhone Shuffle - you know the cute little one with no screen that randomly rings people in your phonebook.
True, Will, what's the point?
I mean, I have an old 1st gen iPhone, I love it dearly and if I want to quickly check my email I can, if I want to search for something on the internet, I can, if I want to "Shazam" a tune, I can.
I mean FFS it is a little hand held device why would it need multi tasking. As far as I can see if I am downloading the latest fart app from the App store and I want to check my mail it still allows me to download my mail, read it, reply to it and then resume my iFart app download.
If you need a computer with proper pre-emptive multi tasking then you need a COMPUTER, not a phone (likewise, if you need high quality Photo's, you need a CAMERA, not a phone)