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James Cameron protected from Na’vi lovechild claim

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Brit comedian Sacha Baron Cohen will not entertain the Oscars crowd on Sunday by hooking up with Ben Stiller for a dig at the helmsman of paradigm-busting megabucks sci-fi superproduction Avatar.

According to New York magazine, Baron Cohen "planned to appear onstage as a blue-skinned, female Na’vi, with Stiller translating 'her' interplanetary speech". As the sketch progressed Baron Cohen would become increasingly irate at Stiller's inability to translate adequately, to the point where the former would "pull open 'her' evening gown to reveal that s/he was pregnant, knocked up with Cameron’s love child, and would go on to confront her baby daddy as if s/he were on Jerry Springer".

Sounds promising, but show producer Bill Mechanic apparently killed the idea because he was so afraid of upsetting James Cameron's delicate sensibilities he feared the director might storm out of the ceremony.

One insider told New York: “Let’s just say that Cameron isn’t known to be, shall we say, ‘self-deprecating.’”

Baron Cohen’s spokesman, Matt Labov, refused to go into details, dodging: “I hate to use the term, because it's so ubiquitous, but there were ‘creative differences.’ Nothing acrimonious, but both sides felt that since they couldn’t agree, [Cohen] might as well remain in London.”

New York concludes: "So in case you’re ranking celebrity senses of humor at home, you can now safely put Cameron below Eminem." ®

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