Feeds

Large Hadron Collider to fire up again next Thursday

LHC-fearing tinfoilers braced for dimensional invasion

Top three mobile application threats

Exclusive The Large Hadron Collider (LHC), most powerful particle-smasher ever assembled by the human race and possible portal to other dimensions, is to fire up its beams following the Xmas break in a week's time.

Official spokesmen for international particle-punishing science alliance CERN have thus far remained cagey about the exact date for the mighty machine's restart, but persons familiar with the matter tell the Reg that the 2010 proton billiards season is set to open on Thursday the 25th.

Our sources suggest that the initial beams will be relatively gentle 450 giga-electron-volt ones, for a mild 900 GeV collision energy. The following few weeks will see the Big Knob turned gradually up until the beams are at 3.5 tera-electron-volts and particles are thus colliding at 7 TeV.

The LHC is designed to go still further to a blistering 14 TeV, but boffinry chiefs fear that cranking it up that high might lead to another electro-blast liquid helium superfluid explosion disaster of the sort which crippled the LHC following its original startup in 2008. The plan is to run it this year at half power, hopefully beating the rival US Tevatron in the race to find the coveted Higgs boson, and then carry out modifications which will allow full-poke operations.

Next week's fire-up will also, of course, be the cue for a large cast of eccentric LHC-fearing doom prophets to clap tinfoil hat on head and dive under the bed - or, in the case of more hardline members of the anti-Collider movement, take more active measures. Our candidate for world champion heavyweight LHC-botherer, the man known simply as "Doctor Dark Energy", says he plans to obtain a nuclear weapon from Osama bin Laden and use it to take out CERN head Rolf Heuer - "and all his bigbangers".

We certainly hope he doesn't manage it: we here on the Reg dimensional-portal desk are looking forward to the advent of visitors from beyond our continuum, as forecast by top CERN boffin Sergio Bertolucci. Even if they are liable to be merely sub-subatomic, ultra-briefly-existing phenomena, rather than the possible teleporting juggernaut-tyrants from the Nth dimension. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
KILLER SPONGES menacing California coastline
Surfers are safe, crustaceans less so
Opportunity selfie: Martian winds have given the spunky ol' rover a spring cleaning
Power levels up 70 per cent as the rover keeps on truckin'
LOHAN and the amazing technicolor spaceplane
Our Vulture 2 livery is wrapped, and it's les noix du mutt
Liftoff! SpaceX Falcon 9 lifts Dragon on third resupply mission to ISS
SpaceX snaps smartly into one-second launch window
KILLER ROBOTS, DNA TAMPERING and PEEPING CYBORGS: the future looks bright!
Americans optimistic about technology despite being afraid of EVERYTHING
R.I.P. LADEE: Probe smashes into lunar surface at 3,600mph
Swan dive signs off successful science mission
Discovery time for 200m WONDER MATERIALS shaved from 4 MILLENNIA... to 4 years
Alloy, Alloy: Boffins in speed-classification breakthrough
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.