Avatar whups Confucius's sorry ass
Eastern philosophy no match for 3-D wizardry
Sci-fi epic Avatar has administered a righteous kicking at the Chinese box office to a locally-produced film about the life of Confucius - despite the authorities' reported attempt to ensure the home-grown product's success.
Historical drama Confucius has taken a mere 97 million yuan ($14m) since its release on 22 January, and has so far failed to recoup its 150 million yuan ($22m) cost, Bloomberg reports. Avatar, on the other hand, has already taken an estimated 1 billion yuan ($146m) since it opened in early January.
Wu Xinxin, international business manager of Confucius maker Dadi Entertainment Ltd, said: “Had our film not played at the same time as Avatar, it would have done much better at the box office. We have a good film... but it’s a different genre and not as commercial as Avatar. We had expected Confucius to do well.”
The disappointing performance of Confucius comes despite the backing of state-run China Film Group, described as "the nation’s top movie distributor", which allegedly ordered that Avatar could only be shown in 3-D, effectively limiting its distribution to cinemas equipped to project the format.
All is not yet lost for Confucius, since the "authoritarian political and social theory advocated by the philosopher... is the basis for much of East Asia’s philosophical beliefs", and Wu therefore expressed the hope that the movie will earn some cash in "South Korea, Singapore and other Asian countries". ®
Wait for Confucius II
Given H'wood's propensity for remakes, surely it'll only be a matter of a few years before some one decided to take the Chinese film and remake it for the sweating masses, (in super hi-def 3D smellovision, or whatever's in vogue at the time).
I predict that the lead will be taken by either Robert Downey Jr or maybe Steven Seagal. "Confewshush" will go into exile to do his 'thinking thing' after his family is brutally slaughtered by Ghengis Khan and his Mongol hordes, only barely escaping himself. Then he'll come back to revenge himself on GK and hordes with "kick-ass" kung fu moves along with major explosions (after he discovers gunpowder and guns in an A-Team type segment). GK will then kidnap the Emperor's daughter, Conf will then rescue her, fight GK to the death in the Forbidden Palace, before inflicting major gunpowder-related damage on the Mongol hordes that are threatening to invade the Palace. We find out that GK is actually some evil space alien, and Conf is actually an amnesiac alien prince himself. Film finishes with Conf embracing female lead while staring dramatically into the sunrise promising to 'protect this land that I love'. GK to be played by Alan Rickman, John Malkovich or Anthony Hopkins. Not sure who would be slated to play the obligatory sidekick - Jet Li or Jackie Chan?
Should I get writing that screenplay at this point...? ;)
At least they are being philosophical about it.
For your information
China is a communist state. The 72 virgins you refer to has to do with integrist Muslim teachings in terrorist circles.
The two are not alike, and should not be confused at all.