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Next from Apple: The Pocket iPad

Fondle-slab to be miniaturised, gain killer voice app

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Exclusive Sources in Cupertino have exclusively confirmed to the Reg that Apple intends to follow up its anticipated iPad success with a miniature, pocket-sized version boasting added voice technology.

"The iPad's a great device," an executive familiar with the matter said yesterday. "But think how great it would be if you could carry it in your pocket.

"And it's got a SIM card in it - which opens up an exciting prospect, that you'd be able to call people up on their actual phones."

Our sources told us that Apple has done a lot of development work on the smaller, enhanced iPad, and that it is even now in the hands of a large beta-test community.

"You may have met someone who's got their hands on the future of the iPad already," said an individual close to Cupertino.

Solid reports are also reaching us that the secretive Californian techno-cult firm plans other futuristic iPad variants. It's thought that the company expects much of its future business to revolve around iPads of various sizes with clever combination keyboard/flip-cover units attached to one edge by a hinge.

Speculation is already rife regarding the names of the new, pocket-sized voice iPad and the larger models with built-in keyboard and screen cover.

Our secret reader poll in past weeks suggested that the likeliest names for the iPad would be the Fondle-Slab™ or iStroke™. In the event those predictions turned out to be wrong, but we feel that Steve Jobs may not overlook such marketing gold in future.

It seems a racing cert that legions of Apple fans will enjoy full satisfaction from their fondle-slabs and pocket stroker devices for many years to come. ®

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(Written by Reg staff)

Interesting

the proportion of readers of this satirical website who don't appear to grasp the concept of satire.

*no longer crying laughing*

10
0

More Apple devices

I think we need fewer multifunction devices and more specialised gadgets. Could I have something to alert me to the presence of young women in short skirts and low-cut tops? But what to call it?

<Leslie Phillips voice>

iSay

</Leslie Phillips voice>

5
0
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Hang on....

*crying laughing*

I'm sorry to have to throw you to the internet, takuhii, but show me the moderator who could resist.

*further crying laughing*

5
0

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