Feeds

World braces for Lindsay Lohan sex tape

47 seconds of 'adult activity' set for net premiere

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Lindsay Lohan is said to be "devastated" that a 47-second video of her indulging in "adult activity" with a member of the opposite sex is about to get a worldwide internet release.

The perpetrator of the kiss-and-tell outrage is reportedly "a waiter with a well-known chain restaurant" who has punted the clip to Hustler for £100k. He's apparently been told he cannot - for copyright reasons - profit from the footage, so it looks likely to end up on some "offshore" smutmongering website from where it will be disseminated without impediment to a delighted world.

An unnamed inside source told the Daily Mirror: "This video file is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors.

"Lindsay was desperate to start 2010 off on a good footing and this is the very last thing she needs. If and when it is released on the internet, via a spurious, unofficial website, there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it."

The insider added: "She is devastated - particularly as she is working hard on cleaning up her act. Lindsay has just made a serious documentary on child poverty in India for the BBC, she is terrified this will be put in jeopardy now. It is fair to say that Lindsay has had a pretty torrid past 24 hours."

Whether Lohan's torrid 47 seconds affect her attempt to become the next Mother Teresa remains to be seen, but she can take solace from the fact that "One Night In" Paris Hilton's career positively benefited from her own amateur grumble flick.

Down in the internet's malodorous sewers, meanwhile, spammers are already busy tempting punters with offers of an eyeful of Lohan, although we suspect the video will eventually reveal it's Lohan who gets the eyeful, if we've correctly interpreted the Mirror's description of the sex act in question. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.