Feeds

NuLabour 'Bribo' laptop pops up on eBay

'Primary Drive: To be re-elected'

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

One enterprising eBayer is offering buyers the chance to get their hands on a "spanking new, gleaming Bribo laptop, complete with instruction sheet showing you where to place your X when the time comes".

The Bribo laptop, as seen on eBay

The listing explains:

The government has declared that it will soon issue 270,000 of these Bribos to their core voters so that they may keep up with their children's school progress on the internet, rather than get up off their sofas and walk down to the parent-teacher meetings and ask. In order to exchange them for tax-free CASH, (to allow access to the things that REALLY matter), the inevitable result will be thousands of Bribos listed on eBay shortly after issue, so I am taking this opportunity to list mine now, before the rush.

Bribo is the latest offering in the "class war" series and will be issued exclusively to "low income" families, (i.e. not much money BEFORE benefits are freely distributed to you), so here is a great opportunity for middle-class, rich buyers, (i.e.anyone with initiative or a bit of cash after having paid swingeing tax and NI and not central within Labour's core vote buyers), to get one as well. Yes, yes, we know that you've already paid for these Bribos out of your hard-earned, heavily-taxed income, but that's not the point - after all, who doesn't want the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from paying for a Bribo, ensuring that the money gets to where it's needed - into the pockets of "low income" families, just in time for the general election.

The vendor further explains that the Bribo's browser is "set to the Labour party home page", and includes "full filters and software included to protect the user from harmful on-line experiences, including landing on any page that we consider to be contrary to Labour party targets and anything that doesn't toe the party line".

Sounds good, although there's a touch of the caveat emptor about this deal. Winning bidders must agree in writing they "will use their postal vote for Labour at the forthcoming general election".

The conditions further warn: "This Bribo laptop is an aspiration, not a pledge. We aspire to send it to you, but if you win it, you may not receive it. Stocks are limited and there's currently a rush to get them to as many 'low income' families as possible before the next election is announced. In the case that we are unable to adhere to this aspiration, any moneys that you have paid will not be returned, they will be hosed over poor families or bankers."

Fair enough. If you fancy aspiring to a Bribo laptop, the auction ends on 21 January. ®

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
Raspberry Pi B+: PHWOAR, get a load of those pins
More USB ports than your laptop? You'd better believe it...
So, Apple won't sell cheap kit? Prepare the iOS garden wall WRECKING BALL
It can throw the low cost race if it looks to the cloud
Apple promises to lift Curse of the Drained iPhone 5 Battery
Have you tried turning it off and...? Never mind, here's a replacement
Now that's FIRE WIRE: HP recalls 6 MILLION burn-risk laptop cables
Right in the middle of Burning Mains Man week
Apple's iWatch? They cannae do it ... they don't have the POWER
Analyst predicts fanbois will have to wait until next year
Super Cali signs a kill-switch, campaigners say it's atrocious
Remote-death button bad news for crooks, protesters – and great news for hackers?
HUGE iPAD? Maybe. HUGE ADVERTS? That's for SURE
Noo! Hand not big enough! Don't look at meee!
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.