Feeds

Dadaist user manuals - a call for submissions

'Stop before you whop'

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

The eggnog has been drunk, the ornaments put away, the hangovers endured. Now it's time for you to dig through those users manuals for all that kit you received as a holiday goodie.

Problem: the manual was translated from its original Mandarin, Minangkabau, or Quenya by an autistic babelfish.

That was certainly our experience this season with an otherwise quite serviceable off-brand USB drive. You may have also run into risible manuals or marketing materials in your encounters with tech products - whether you just received something as a gift or have had it lying around for years.

If so, we'd love to see them.

But before we tell you how to share your user-manual, packaging, or instructions ludicrousness with us - and, of course, with your fellow Reg readers - let's take a look at a bit of the manual for that aforementioned USB drive:

Poorly translated users manual

The author apparently texts heavily - but u already know that

Poorly translated user manual

Need help? Just didk!

Poorly translated user manual

Never whop it without stopping

We hasten to add that our own personal language-translation skills would leave us helpless in China, Singapore, or Middle-Earth, but it does seem in this global economy the services of a proofreader might rate a bit higher on a manufacturer's priority list.

Show us what translational jaw-droppery you may have turned up. Scan your examples, take digital snapshots, tear out or photocopy them, or even just type 'em out - but although we trust you implicitly, we'd prefer some higher standard of evidence than your mere good word.

Then email your digital examples to us here, or send hard-copy to The Register, 116 New Montgomery - Suite 531, San Francisco CA 94105.

When a critical mass - morass? - has arrived, watch this space for a festival of linguistic ludicrousness. ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.