Feeds

IPS in cunning 'get an ID card, get crucified' scheme

Nail down your identity for keeps...

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The Identity and Passport Service's hilariously triste efforts to make ID cards cuddly has passed another millstone (shurely 'milestone?' - Ed). As a follow-up to plastering its propaganda with happy fingerprints, IPS now has a flash animation of them as well - derived, weirdly, from a movie you might be familiar with.

With a cast of several, IPS, The Movie re-enacts that famous scene from Spartacus with talking fingerprints. Grief, what were they thinking?

An angry-looking mob of fingerprints jostles for position, each crying "I'm Spartacus!" These, presumably, are terrorist, ID and/or benefit-thieving fingerprints. Or possibly underage drinking fingerprints. Best round them up.

Roman ID thieves rounded up

But how can we tell which one of them isn't lying? Ah, here he is…

All fixed with the help of magic ID Card. Doesn't look a lot like his picture, though, does he? Whatever, if he really is Spartacus, ringleader of a revolution intended to overthrow the government and turn Roman society upside down, we'd best nick him.

He's Spartacus

And seeing the rest of them are obvious ID frauds, we'd best nick them too. So that's that one nailed then, all thanks to ID cards.

So the take-away from this little effort must be that ID cards protect your identity, then pass it on to the forces of law and order (or possibly repression, if we're following the movie here), who then crucify you? Yup, that's what they must mean. Brilliant, that'll really get demand for ID cards moving in Manchester. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
MI6 oversight report on Lee Rigby murder: US web giants offer 'safe haven for TERRORISM'
PM urged to 'prioritise issue' after Facebook hindsight find
Assange™ slumps back on Ecuador's sofa after detention appeal binned
Swedish court rules there's 'great risk' WikiLeaker will dodge prosecution
NSA mass spying reform KILLED by US Senators
Democrats needed just TWO more votes to keep alive bill reining in some surveillance
'Internet Freedom Panel' to keep web overlord ICANN out of Russian hands – new proposal
Come back with our internet! cries Republican drawing up bill
What a Mesa: Apple vows to re-use titsup GT sapphire glass plant
Commits to American manufacturing ... of secret tech
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?