Feeds

Oregon profs plan giant robotic space cockroach warriors

'Humans can run, but frankly [it is futile to do so]'

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Human traitors in Oregon are planning the construction of fearsome robot cockroaches physically superior to mankind.

“Cockroaches are incredible," says John Schmitt, a prof at Oregon State uni. "They can run fast, turn on a dime, move easily over rough terrain, and react to perturbations faster than a nerve impulse can travel.”

Schmitt and his colleagues plan to build cockroach-like but much larger machines to be employed in "difficult jobs, such as military operations, law enforcement or space exploration".

The spacegoing robowarrior roaches would have huge advantages over today's vaguely humanoid or quadruped walker robots, according to Schmitt. He says that current machines use far too much energy and computing power on locomotion, leaving little left over for the actual task at hand: in this case conquest, subsequent subjugation of the populace, and then the carrying of the campaign onward into space.

“A cockroach doesn’t think much about running, it just runs," enthuses the lovestruck prof. "And it only slows down about 20 percent when going over blocks that are three times higher than its hips. That’s just remarkable, and an indication that their stability has to do with how they are built, rather than how they react.”

It seems that other likely blueprints for the space warrior drones of the future include the guinea-hen, another creature whose racing skills are far superior to those of humanity. According to an Oregon State statement:

A guinea hen, for instance, can change the length and angle of its spring-like legs to almost automatically adjust to an unexpected change in a ground surface as much as 40 percent of its hip height. That would be like a human running at full speed, stepping into a 16-inch-deep hole and never missing a beat.

"Researchers are getting closer to their goal," add the uni spokesmen, worryingly.

“Humans can run, but frankly [there will be little point in their doing so]” comments Schmitt.

The prof and a colleague have recently published a paper on their work, Modeling posture-dependent leg actuation in sagittal plane locomotion, in the journal Bioinspiration and Biomimetics. It can be read for free in pdf here.

Evidently the day of humanity's extirpation at the mandibles of our own robotic space cockroach and droid guinea-fowl enforcement legions is to be expected imminently. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
China building SUPERSONIC SUBMARINE that travels in a BUBBLE
Shanghai to San Fran in two hours would be a trick, though
Our LOHAN spaceplane ballocket Kickstarter climbs through £8000
Through 25 per cent but more is needed: Get your UNIQUE rewards!
CRR-CRRRK, beep, beep: Mars space truck backs out of slippery sand trap
Curiosity finds new drilling target after course correction
SpaceX prototype rocket EXPLODES over Texas. 'Tricky' biz, says Elon Musk
No injuries or near injuries. Flight stayed in designated area
Galileo, Galileo! Galileo, Galileo! Galileo fit to go. Magnifico
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. But at least I can find my way with ESA GPS by 2017
Astronomers scramble for obs on new comet
Amateur gets fifth confirmed discovery
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.