Feeds

They said what? Quotes of the Year

The urbane, the insane...

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation


“The last thing anyone wants is to be thought of as the sort of person Stephen wouldn't invite to his lovely Norfolk home for the weekend along with Richard Dawkins, Emma Thompson and Alan Davies”

Satire site Daily Mash has the measure of Twitter's most-followed bully, Stephen Fry. Twitter cemented its reputation as the No.1 social network where has-been celebs enforce forelock-tugging respect, and marketing consultants and nontrepreneurs can wash their consciences clean.


“ We know with certainty that we know fuck-all ”

How science works: climate scientist Ed Cook writing to CRU's Treemometer Expert, Ed Briffa, in 2003. It was one of thousands of emails exposed in the Climategate files. Cook was referring to trends over 100 years - but for skeptics, it sums up the state of the "science". More on Briffa here [bonus mailbag goodness here], and the Climategate scandal here.

“It can accumulate a cash hoard of tens of millions of dollars while charging companies to buy back their own names and then listing everything in exactly the order it would have been had no one bid at all.”

Analyst Eric Clemons pretty much has the measure of Google's business strategy.

Or as Fake Steve put it, "Google has become what Microsoft used to be — the evil dicks who look around, find some area where people are making money, and say, Hey, fuck it, we’re bored, so let’s do the same thing for free and put those guys out of business."

“Lets say now we're off Weymouth in 2012 and we're doing the Olympic games, and we suddenly find a boat... [carrying] a bunch of topless lovelies, heading around having had too much to drink”

Lord Alan West, the security minister. AKA Lord Bournemouth (West of Spithead), and the former head of the Royal Navy. West was explaining the possible uses for a net-flinging "futuristic bazooka", developed by the Home Office Scientific Development Branch. We doubt it was developed with any other purpose in mind, other than finding a boat of topless lovelies who'd had too much to drink.


“It’s just that I can never work up the energy to be interested in other people. Male or female. I just can’t stand them. Not. At. All. Also, with sex, there’s the touching thing, and with that the germ thing.”

Fake Steve explains why Bimbo Eruptions never happen to Steve Jobs.

Well, what did we miss? Let us know. ®

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
Microsoft exits climate denier lobby group
ALEC will have to do without Redmond, it seems
Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media
No Mr Fuzz, don't ask a crime victim to be your pal on Facebook
Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please
Novelslab finally on sale with ($199 - $20) price tag
Ballmer leaves Microsoft board to spend more time with his b-balls
From Clippy to Clippers: Hi, I see you're running an NBA team now ...
Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE
Can't face sea of wobbling fondle implements. What happened to lighters, eh?
Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media
Yanked footage featured British-accented attacker and US journo James Foley
Amazon takes swipe at PayPal, Square with card reader for mobes
Etailer plans to undercut rivals with low transaction fee offer
Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy
Press conference: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME (cont'd pg 94)
Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio
Activision Blizzard might like quality control of a CoD film
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration
Avoid the typical headaches of OS migration during your next project by learning about 7 elements of radically simple OS migration.
BYOD's dark side: Data protection
An endpoint data protection solution that adds value to the user and the organization so it can protect itself from data loss as well as leverage corporate data.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?