Feeds

El Reg uncovers Tiger Woods tech angle

Plus shocking denial of ------------------!

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

We at The Register would like to take a moment to formally denounce the media's despicable smear job of US golfer Tiger Woods over malicious and unproven claims that he cheated on his wife with — at last count — every single able-bodied cocktail waitress living in the Northern Hemisphere today.

What right does does the media have to drag Woods' near-spotless public reputation through the mud? And what right does the public have to humiliate this sterling golfer and prince of sport over deeply private "transgressions" that occur millions of times a day to non-celebrities.

For what? Cheap laughs and snarky comments?

But then it dawned on us there's a tech angle to the whole Tiger Woods clusterfuck. We also soon realized the initial repulsion we were feeling towards his treatment wasn't an unprecedented tug of human decency and compassion, but merely a normal simmering of jealousy that others in the media were grabbing all the cheap laughs while the getting was still good. And so we choose to reach for the stars:

Presenting a Tiger Woods sex-scandal controversy tech angle (in which we chuckle over advertisements with unintentional connections to current affairs)

Any sap caught in an airport in recent years has probably seen posters of Tiger Woods flogging for the global technology services and outsourcing company, Accenture. Or perhaps you mistook the advertisement for Woods selling Gillette, Gatorade, Pepsi, Proctor and Gamble, Nike, Electronic Arts, AT&T, Upper Deck, TLC Laser Eye Centers, NetJets, or Tag Heurer's watches. The dude pretty much has a lot of things going on.

Commercials featuring Tiger began disappearing from prime time shortly after the golfer's auto accident in his Iseworth neighborhood and the ensuing flood of tabloid reports of alleged infidelity. In addition, Woods' refusal to address these rumors publicly has only focused more attention on the event.

Although many sponsors have vowed to stand by Woods through the controversy, Accenture has thus far remained silent on its plans. The company uses Woods' image prominently as its "world symbol of ultimate high performance." The company did not respond to our inquiry, but we suspect there are few ads the company should probably drop in light of recent events.

These print ads are from Accenture's advertisement page, which has mysteriously disappeared from the website:

Doing nothing has been proven inadvisable — ho ho ho.

Sometime you need to wake up early to get laid — ha ha ha.

...And sometimes ends abruptly with an oak tree — wakka wakka wakka.

Bonus: No Tiger Woods -------------, ----------------- for Brits

A British judge has barred journalists in the country from publishing any ------------- that involve Tiger Woods ------------------ or ------------- — even though the material supposedly doesn't exist.

The injunction issued Thursday notably blocks the media from even revealing details of the order itself. And because we're based in the UK, we are not allowed to say what exactly has been barred.

The order was imposed by High Court Justice David Eady at the request of the law firm Schillings, which represents Woods in Britain. A letter accompanying the injunction asserts that although some media outlets claim to have been offered ------------- and ------------- showing -------------, -------------, and even -------------, the filing is not an admission that any of…it...exists.

Our hands are tied. Google it or something. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.