Feeds

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Only Osama can stop 'collaptic devil particle'

The smart choice: opportunity from uncertainty

Nutjob Friday There are many interesting questions to be asked regarding the Large Hadron Collider, most powerful matter-rending machine ever assembled by the human race. Will it discover the elusive Higgs Boson? Will it open up an interdimensional portal into some mysterious continuum beyond our own? Will it, perhaps, destroy the world and/or entire universe in a deadly planetary soupening mishap?

But this is the Reg and this is Friday too, so we have chosen to focus on a related but different question. Namely, who is the world champion heavyweight eccentric LHC-fearing doomsday prophet?

It had been widely thought among connoisseurs of the tinfoilclad community's work that, taken all around, the world number 1 was probably Walter L Wagner. The colourful Hawaii-based botanist, lawyer, and soi-disant physicist even went so far as to mount a lawsuit in federal court attempting to get the Collider shut down, despite the fairly basic objection that US beaks have no jurisdiction over the machine.

But little has been heard from Wagner for some time. He has, too, had other things on his plate: an ongoing bitter legal battle with the board at his former workplace, the World Botanical Gardens in Hawaii, which has seen millions of dollars in damages awarded against him in civil cases and indictments on criminal charges. It's not the first time Wagner's been in trouble with the law, either: he did jail time back in the 1970s after violating restraining orders granted to a woman he was stalking.

We have had some contributions from Wagner's confederate Luis Sancho on the comments pages here, which are quite good of their type: but Wagner seems to have been the brains of that outfit, really. And the recent appeal by internationally allied doomsayers to the UN is a bit dull, too.

It's been left to one of the world's keenest amateur LHC watchers, Chris Stephens of LHC Portal fame, to come up with a new contender: and he has done so. Chris writes:

I have found the ultimate LHC Tin Foil Hatter. I know, I know ... that's saying a lot.

Chris offers for your consideration Ivan Gorelik. Here's his website, from which we've culled a few choice bits:

Attention! Magnetic trap of Devil!

Some theorists suggest that the Higgs bosons will be registered at the LHC ... Higgs boson had received a new name, "the God particle". We know that the most of particles have their corresponding antiparticles. So, if there is a particle of God, then there is a particle of Devil.

By adding the colliding energy, we can get the God particle and its anti-particle, the magnetic trap of Devil ... the magnetic hole captures the substance and transforms its rest mass-energy into another form of matter, - the magnetic field of the Devil's trap. Say me now, are we have the right to touch the particle of God?

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 claimed lives of HIV/AIDS cure scientists
Researchers, advocates, health workers among those on shot-down plane
Forty-five years ago: FOOTPRINTS FOUND ON MOON
NASA won't be back any time soon, sadly
Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Eccentric billionaire Musk gets his PRIVATE SPACEPORT
In the Lone Star State, perhaps appropriately enough
MARS NEEDS OCEANS to support life - and so do exoplanets
Just being in the Goldilocks zone doesn't mean there'll be anyone to eat the porridge
The Sun took a day off last week and made NO sunspots
Someone needs to get that lazy star cooking again before things get cold around here
Diary note: Pluto's close-up is a year from … now!
New Horizons is less than a year from the dwarf planet
Boffins discuss AI space program at hush-hush IARPA confab
IBM, MIT, plenty of others invited to fill Uncle Sam's spy toolchest, but where's Google?
prev story

Whitepapers

Seven Steps to Software Security
Seven practical steps you can begin to take today to secure your applications and prevent the damages a successful cyber-attack can cause.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.