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Dragon Age: Origins game in gay sex scene shock

Help me become somebody's elf*

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A secret scene in the fantasy game Dragon Age: Origins shows a male character getting down to some hot same-sex action with an elf, The Telegraph titters today.

The scene, hailed by some as progressive and derided by others as "ewww icky", is accessed when a player seduces the warrior Zevran with the right combination of smooth chat-up lines. It is tasteful and sensitive, falling somewhat short of Brokeback Mountain-grade characterisation, but successfully swerving any comparisons to that bit in Silent Hill where Pyramid Head does something very very bad to someone with his pointy bits.

Inevitably there's a YouTube clip:

The commenters engage in surprisingly thoughtful discussion below the vid as to whether Zevran is gay or bisexual, and whether it even qualifies as gay sex, since Zevran is non-human. Tips for avoiding the filth are also shared - apparently a fireball to the face is sufficient to cool the elven ardour.

GayGamer.net approved of the scene, praising the "bare-chested and unflinching portrayal" of the pec-tastic pixellated rumpy-pumpy. The rest of the internet appears to concur. We can only assume the dissenters are still too shocked to be able to post coherent comment.

The Telegraph sniffs that games tend towards the "macho" with an inference of heterocentrism, citing Grand Theft Auto as an example. Presumably it didn't mean the Grand Theft Auto whose most recent expansion pack is "The Ballad Of Gay Tony".

Dragon Age: Origin is not the first video game to feature gay sex - 2007's Mass Effect featured a bit of girl-on-girl frolicking (although again it was inter-species nookie).

The game is out now for PlayStation, Xbox and PC. Its groundbreaking move, which will undoubtedly have sent shockwaves through the three remaining persons now living who are still shocked about gay things, will pave the way for a new generation of boys-who-do-boys-friendly game iterations including Super Mario Sauna, Rock Band: Bored on the Tour Bus and Call of Duty: Don't Ask, Don't Tell. ®

* The first getter of the reference will win a free treatment at Oily Pixels, one of Second Life's finest massage parlours.

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