Feeds

LHC dimensional apocalypse from midnight: Your thoughts

Aliens, gov planetbuster boffins, many others write in

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Well, this is it. In the early hours of tomorrow morning, scientists at the controls of titanic machines situated in mighty hollowed-out caverns and tunnels deep beneath Switzerland will begin to unleash forces so vast and complex as to tax the very limits of human comprehension. The mighty Large Hadron Collider, most powerful matter-rending machine ever assembled by the human race, will once again begin to shoot beams of particles around its superfluid vacuum-pipe lightspeed doughnut.

Following last year's disastrous electrical crackup and associated liquid-helium explosion which put the mighty machine out of action until now, CERN subterranean-boffinry chiefs have gone for a lower-profile approach than we saw last year. The actual planned time of restart has not been released to the media, and the splendidly comical global hysteria seen in September 2009 has failed to materialise.

We thought that was a shame, particularly as we have it on the authority of no less a boffin than Dr Sergio Bertolucci - one of the top scientists at CERN - that the LHC may in fact create a gateway to other dimensions. Through this dimensional portal might come "something", according to Bertolucci - or through it things from our own native four-dimensional universe might pass into some mysterious other continuum.

CERN may not have released the restart schedule to the press, but in a characteristic move they have posted on the internet where anyone can read it. Keen amateur LHC-watcher Chris Stephens has done so, and thus we know that beam commissioning - that is, the first beams to go all round the collider tracks - starts on the midnight-to-eight shift tomorrow morning (with "splash events", it says here).

So, while the world waits for the mighty machine to fire up, we thought we'd bring together a little compilation of your thoughts on the matter - many, many of you have commented and written in. Naturally, this being the internet rather than the Royal Society or somewhere, the debate has tended to focus on the likelihood of the LHC destroying the Earth or perhaps entire universe and/or the various kinds of dimensional-portal invasions which might occur.

Commentard Valerion flagged up the upsetting notion that the Collider might suddenly replace the present universe with another and different one:

The problem I have

Is the whole "recreating the conditions just after the big bang" thing.

The last time that happened, as I recall, the entire Universe sort of came into being and proceeded to grow continually outward at, presumably, the speed of light.

Seems to me that starting off another one of those in Switzerland could be considered A Bad Thing.

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray
Want to arm that shark? Better get in there quick
Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs
Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins
Robo-sub scans freezing waters, rocks warming models
Your PHONE is slowly KILLING YOU
Doctors find new Digitillnesses - 'text neck' and 'telepressure'
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs
And a floating carrier for recyclable rockets
The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS
Your brother's gonna die, kid, unless we can give him your, well ...
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.