Lucky Mancunians will finally be able to get their hands on the gov's shiny ID cards as of two weeks today.

They can even make appointments before that date to register for the card, the government has announced.

According to Meg Hillier, the government's Identity Minister: “Identity cards will prove themselves extremely useful in daily life, from opening a bank account to entering a nightclub, and for travel to Europe.”

Truly a whole new world has opened up for Mancunians who to date have struggled to open bank accounts (The Co-op Bank?), go to Europe (Manchester Airport) or visit nightclubs (The Twisted Wheel, Wigan Casino, The Rovers Return, The Hacienda, etc, etc).

Of course, there's always someone who wants to jump the queue, and today it was Minister for the North West of England, Phil Woolas, who declared: “Having been through the enrolment process this morning, I can vouch for the fact it is simple, secure and only takes around 15 minutes.”

Normally, you can guarantee that such promises don't become reality for the majority of citizens/guinea pigs.

However, given that only 2,000 Mancunians have even expressed interest in the ID card scheme, we expect there won't be too much of a crush at the registration centre for the foreseeable future.

Unless, that is, the government goes ahead and makes it illegal to buy cheese without first producing a card. ®

Bootnote

One readers suggest the next logical thing is for the government to tout the card on its use for cutting lines in the pub toilets. We're not sure how an ID card could be used as a public convenience crowd control device. Still, we thought the rest of you could suggest what exactly what you'd do with it. Answers in the usual spot below.

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• Home Office staff offered early bird ID cards (14 October 2009)
• ID card support hits bottom under Brown (9 October 2009)