Mancunians finally get to open bank accounts, go to Europe
...if they have an ID card
Lucky Mancunians will finally be able to get their hands on the gov's shiny ID cards as of two weeks today.
They can even make appointments before that date to register for the card, the government has announced.
And what will they do when they've gotten one of the most eagerly awaited government sponsored bits of plastic ever?
According to Meg Hillier, the government's Identity Minister: “Identity cards will prove themselves extremely useful in daily life, from opening a bank account to entering a nightclub, and for travel to Europe.”
Truly a whole new world has opened up for Mancunians who to date have struggled to open bank accounts (The Co-op Bank?), go to Europe (Manchester Airport) or visit nightclubs (The Twisted Wheel, Wigan Casino, The Rovers Return, The Hacienda, etc, etc).
Of course, there's always someone who wants to jump the queue, and today it was Minister for the North West of England, Phil Woolas, who declared: “Having been through the enrolment process this morning, I can vouch for the fact it is simple, secure and only takes around 15 minutes.”
Normally, you can guarantee that such promises don't become reality for the majority of citizens/guinea pigs.
However, given that only 2,000 Mancunians have even expressed interest in the ID card scheme, we expect there won't be too much of a crush at the registration centre for the foreseeable future.
Unless, that is, the government goes ahead and makes it illegal to buy cheese without first producing a card. ®
One readers suggest the next logical thing is for the government to tout the card on its use for cutting lines in the pub toilets. We're not sure how an ID card could be used as a public convenience crowd control device. Still, we thought the rest of you could suggest what exactly what you'd do with it. Answers in the usual spot below.
Thats a good thing
We'll be able to easily identify Mancunians.
2000 lucky Mancunians
This is BRILLIANT. If you're a shyster selling duff tech to an illiterate government.
Come the next New Labour government they'll be able to spin that there's been a public trial in one of Britain's largest cities and they've only had 2000 complaints!
The Lisbon Traety
No - that's not a spilling mishtake - even in the rarefied heights of high legalese the Treaty document is drivel of a cosmic order :
I commend to you:
Try a search for "identity" and try and figure how that works within the framework of the document - yeah - right Article 17........
These feckers are going to use this as a stick to beat you all into line and pay up.
This is not good guys n gals - the Russians have been warning us about the danger of the EU for a while and they have direct experience of a totalitarian bureaucracy and know what they're talking about.
Go on read it - if you can - I suspect that even the f**kwits that drafted it can't explain it.
I'm waiting for the first ID cards to show up on Ebay - I mean are they actually a legal document now - like a passport ? Answers on a postcard.
And yes - I'm anonymouse