Dirty, dirty PCs: The X-rated picture guide
Horror beyond human imagination
Ventblockers Our shock picture last Friday of a Quatermass-style lifeform lurking inside a PC prompted a flurry of snaps forwarded by readers who had similarly confronted unspeakable horrors.
We gather that many of our correspondents are responding well to therapy, and could be back working in PC maintenance in five years or so. Others, sadly, are condemned to spend the rest of their days in a padded room gibbering about alien beings like that unfortunate bloke from Quatermass and the Pit who sees a hellish vision of Mars inhabited by Red Planet bouncing insect creatures.
Well, flamethowers at the ready. We're going in...
A gentle start there, courtesy of Rob Dege and the front panel of a client's PC. Definite signs of proto-life.
Next up, Neil Cameron-Rollo, who says this machine was still working...
...as was this one, claims Stuart Green, "until we cleaned it":
Those were the days...
...When I used to work on old Wang kit, crawling around secretaries legs cleaning out the Wang office kit with a brush and hoover. Actually managed to bed two of them (secretaries that is...)
Yet More ME TOO Stories
The worst I ever ran into was a computer that some guy kept in his wood shop...right next door to some big saw. The machine was about 1/2 full of sawdust and featured a family of mice, huddled around the CPU, all dead. They hadn't been dead long enough to dry out and were just not very pleasant.
Then there was the smelly laptop. It wouldn't boot and had a strange, familiar and nasty odour to it. We opened it up to find a lot of corrosion and a hideous, hideous smell. It turned out that some cat had decided that laptops were where all the cool cats pee.
I've also encountered a keyboard that seemed a bit dirty. I turned it over and banged down revealing a massive pile of public hair. It looked as if someone with a sizable bush shaved and then shoved all the shavings between the keys. It was naaaaaaasty.
Actually it's quite plausible. It's a Dell machine GX1 ~ GX110 and the cover comes off the chassis with the press of two little plastic buttons (gotta love Dell cases!). There's a CD drive there so it's not like they had a blanking plate to prise out and shove stuff through. The only way they could have gotten anything in there is to take the whole lid off so there's no reason they couldn't have dropped a mouse in before popping it back on, would take <10 seconds.