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You too can become a Taoist Mao Shan master

Handy Reg step-by-step guide to achieving enlightenment

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The shock news earlier this week that a Chinese truck driver had persuaded an 18-year-old aspiring model that he was a Taoist Mao Shan master with the power to grant her catwalk success - providing she indulged in ritual sex - prompted many readers to enquire how they too might achieve the same kind of spiritual enlightenment.

Well, we're always eager to oblige, and here's our four-step guide demonstrating just how it's done:

Our four-step Playmobil guide to becoming a Taoist master

1: Obtain Chinese truck driving licence.

2: Persuade wide-eyed model to polish your magic gearstick.*

3: Indulge in ritual rumpy-pumpy.

4: Get model up the duff, and yourself righteously cuffed.

Simple as that. ®

Bootnote

*Those of you living in Ohio might want to try this alternative step 2: Persuade both your stepdaughter and wife to polish your magic gearstick, and mark them out of 10...

The alternative Playmobil stage two

Related stories

All of El Reg's Playmobil magic can be found right here.

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Latest Comments

@ Nice work if you can get it!

A load of aspiring models would be more rewarding.

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a job well done

Interesting how he doesn't lose his "enlightened" smile even when he is cuffed by the cops... If it was such a mighty good magic stick polish, I guess I can give the idea a try...

Paris because... 12 comments and nobody mentioned her? I'm disappointed!

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NSFW please

Man.. can I have a version of the Register that is safe for work? Is there a URL I can type that does not list these NSFW stories?? A disclaimer at the bottom of El Reg that says "all bootnotes are likely NSFW."

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