You too can become a Taoist Mao Shan master

Handy Reg step-by-step guide to achieving enlightenment

By Lester Haines, 5th November 2009

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The shock news earlier this week that a Chinese truck driver had persuaded an 18-year-old aspiring model that he was a Taoist Mao Shan master with the power to grant her catwalk success - providing she indulged in ritual sex - prompted many readers to enquire how they too might achieve the same kind of spiritual enlightenment.

Well, we're always eager to oblige, and here's our four-step guide demonstrating just how it's done:

1: Obtain Chinese truck driving licence.

2: Persuade wide-eyed model to polish your magic gearstick.*

3: Indulge in ritual rumpy-pumpy.

4: Get model up the duff, and yourself righteously cuffed.

Simple as that. ®

Bootnote

*Those of you living in Ohio might want to try this alternative step 2: Persuade both your stepdaughter and wife to polish your magic gearstick, and mark them out of 10...

The alternative Playmobil stage two

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Posted Friday 6th November 2009 11:04 GMT

asiaseen

@ Nice work if you can get it!

A load of aspiring models would be more rewarding.

Posted Friday 6th November 2009 01:09 GMT

A. Coatsworth

a job well done

Interesting how he doesn't lose his "enlightened" smile even when he is cuffed by the cops... If it was such a mighty good magic stick polish, I guess I can give the idea a try...

Paris because... 12 comments and nobody mentioned her? I'm disappointed!

Posted Friday 6th November 2009 01:09 GMT

Anonymous Coward

NSFW please

Man.. can I have a version of the Register that is safe for work? Is there a URL I can type that does not list these NSFW stories?? A disclaimer at the bottom of El Reg that says "all bootnotes are likely NSFW."