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Woman rings cops to decry daughter's superior BJ skills

Both blew pop, as is the Ohio custom

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The local paper covering Findlay, Ohio, has secured its place in journalistic history by printing a brief report of a woman who rang cops to complain that her daughter boasted superior oral relief skills.

TheCourier.com explained on Monday: "A woman called the police early Saturday morning during an argument with her husband after he claimed that the woman's daughter performed oral sex on him, and the daughter was better at it."

We hasten to point out that the husband was in fact the stepdad of the orally-skilled lass, but that legally-crucial fact was lost on the readers who queued up to slam The Courier's coverage.

One wrote: "I subscribe to The Courier but will cancel if the public record is going to be filled with details of multiple female family members servicing the male of the house."

Well quite. Interestingly, none of the good burghers of Findlay chose to express their disgust at the news that a woman "was cited early Sunday morning for having an open container of rum and Coke on a sidewalk in the 1200 block of Morey Avenue", or that someone "at the Wayside Golf Course on Ohio 568 reported that someone damaged one of the holes on the green and stole one of the tee markers", or indeed that a legless woman "passed out in Nino's Bar on Main Street early Sunday morning" and "vomited everywhere, and other bar patrons got into a fight while trying to help her".

Ah, Findlay: it's our kind of town. ®

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