Feeds

Woman rings cops to decry daughter's superior BJ skills

Both blew pop, as is the Ohio custom

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

The local paper covering Findlay, Ohio, has secured its place in journalistic history by printing a brief report of a woman who rang cops to complain that her daughter boasted superior oral relief skills.

TheCourier.com explained on Monday: "A woman called the police early Saturday morning during an argument with her husband after he claimed that the woman's daughter performed oral sex on him, and the daughter was better at it."

We hasten to point out that the husband was in fact the stepdad of the orally-skilled lass, but that legally-crucial fact was lost on the readers who queued up to slam The Courier's coverage.

One wrote: "I subscribe to The Courier but will cancel if the public record is going to be filled with details of multiple female family members servicing the male of the house."

Well quite. Interestingly, none of the good burghers of Findlay chose to express their disgust at the news that a woman "was cited early Sunday morning for having an open container of rum and Coke on a sidewalk in the 1200 block of Morey Avenue", or that someone "at the Wayside Golf Course on Ohio 568 reported that someone damaged one of the holes on the green and stole one of the tee markers", or indeed that a legless woman "passed out in Nino's Bar on Main Street early Sunday morning" and "vomited everywhere, and other bar patrons got into a fight while trying to help her".

Ah, Findlay: it's our kind of town. ®

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
prev story

Whitepapers

Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Application security programs and practises
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.