Feeds

US sees 'hot-tub related injuries' increase triplefold

Horrific 'body part entanglement' <cough> bloodbath

Intelligent flash storage arrays

According to a recent study, those US citizens who manage to survive swine flu, terrorists, meteor strikes, guvmint agents fixin' to pry their guns from their cold dead fingers and other such perils of the modern age are still doomed. They will almost certainly be killed - or anyway badly injured - in some kind of horrific hot-tub-related accident.

The news comes courtesy of a recent report from the Center for Injury Research and Policy, now published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. Investigating researchers found, broadly speaking, that Americans' fatal predilection for large whirlpool baths may eventually render them extinct, sweeping the USA clean of life in a terrifying, bubbly, erm, bloodbath.

“Although some steps have been taken to make hot tubs safer, increased prevention efforts are needed,” says Dr Lara McKenzie of the CIRP.

According to the Centre, hot-tub related injuries have skyrocketed in recent times. McKenzie says that "unintentional hot tub-related injuries increased by 160 percent, from approximately 2,500 to more than 6,600 injuries per year" over the period 1990-2007. And that's just the unintentional ones.

The CIRP data says that "lacerations were the most commonly reported injuries" and that "the lower extremities (27 percent) and the head (26 percent) were the most frequently injured body parts". The report also speaks of horrific "tub-related injuries associated with suction drains (such as entanglement, body entrapment and drowning)".

It's clear that installing one of these fearful Charybdis-like watery portals to the netherworld in your home is about as survivable as trying to fight off a pack of intruding wild monkeys on one's balcony.

The only household object which is managing to crank up its kill rate faster than the hot-tub, it would seem, is that terrifying engine of death the computer, whose annual score has increased by a shocking 700+ per cent over much the same period - a factoid revealed by none other than Dr McKenzie, as it happens.

Details of the hot-tub terror epidemic are available here. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
GRAV WAVE DRAMA: 'Big Bang echo' may have been grit on the scanner – boffins
Exit Planet Dust on faster-than-light expansion of universe
Mine Bitcoins with PENCIL and PAPER
Forget Sudoku, crunch SHA-256 algos
SpaceX Dragon cargo truck flies 3D printer to ISS: Clawdown in 3, 2...
Craft berths at space station with supplies, experiments, toys
That glass of water you just drank? It was OLDER than the SUN
One MEELLION years older. Some of it anyway
NASA rover Curiosity drills HOLE in MARS 'GOLF COURSE'
Joins 'traffic light' and perfect stony sphere on the Red Planet
'This BITE MARK is a SMOKING GUN': Boffins probe ancient assault
Tooth embedded in thigh bone may tell who pulled the trigger
Big dinosaur wowed females with its ENORMOUS HOOTER
That's right, Doris, I've got biggest snout in the prehistoric world
Japanese volcano eruption reportedly leaves 31 people presumed dead
Hopes fade of finding survivors on Mount Ontake
Canberra drone team dances a samba in Outback Challenge
CSIRO's 'missing bushwalker' found and watered
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.