The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

Beeb gets grief for Humpty Dumpty rewrite

MP decries happy ending to wall-fall shocker

Ensure Ease of Recovery with Asigra’s Agentless Software

The BBC is taking a bit of stick for rewriting Humpty Dumpty to protect wide-eyed kiddies from the terrible realisation that the combined ingenuity of all the king's horses and all the king's men proved insufficient to reassemble the poor chap.

According to the Sun, CBeebies show Something Special featured a sanitised version ending: "All the king's horses and all the king's men made Humpty Dumpty happy again."

The outrage was spotted by Glasgow South Labour MP Tom Harris, who was watching the programme with his two young sons. He thundered: "For goodness sake. Kids should be exposed to real life a bit, not cosseted away [sic].

"We need to stop this moronic activity. Let them see colourful and violent* cartoons, and let them be children."

Harris also noted that Something Special decided it'd be better if Little Miss Muffet made friends with the spider, rather then legging it.

The Sun wheeled out the chairman of The Campaign for Real Education, Nick Seaton, who offered: "Nursery rhymes are a gentle way to ease children into the real world. Children are being told everything is rosy and aren't being raised to confront problems."

A Beeb spokeswoman defended: "The small change to Humpty Dumpty was for no other reason than being creative and entertaining." ®

Bootnote

*In fact, Something Special does indeed offer kids "colourful and violent" content. In 2007, its presenter Mr Tumble managed to render the sign language greeting “I’m happy to see you” as “I’m f**cking you”, much to the delight of the Sun.

The programme's website currently features the tale of Hansel and Gretel, which has evidently not been Humptied. The site warns: "This is the traditional version of the Hansel and Gretel fairy story, showing an image of the witch being put in the oven. Concerned Grown-ups may like to preview the story first."

Regcast training : Hyper-V 3.0, VM high availability and disaster recovery

Absolutely

I agree with Mr Harris, and I demand the return to TV of Tom and Jerry cartoons. The old proper ones, not those rubbish new ones.

1
0

eggregious

As has been noted before, it was probably a mistake to let the King's horses have first go at reassembling poor Hump.

1
0

Re Mike Tree

I think you'll find that they are already changing the news to give us happy endings.

0
0

More from The Register

Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent
Our man puts eating people powder Food 2.0 to the test
Oracle's Ellison outlines plans for Hawaiian Electriclarryland
Solar-sourced eau d'Oracle the key to island revival
 breaking news
Who's to be the next Dr Who? Sherlock beats Maurice - says you
Cumberbatch EXTERMINATES Ayoade, Atkinson, Pegg - and Tilda Swinton
Chewbacca held up by TSA stormtroopers for having light sabre
'Mrauuun' 'Right, Chewie, giant man do need giant cane'
 breaking news
I told you I'd be back: Arnie set for another career revival
Don't worry voters, Schwarzenegger's talking about Terminator 5
Waving an Eye-of-Sauron pulsating mock cock? STOP IMMEDIATELY
Mains-powered sex aid recalled ... Ultimate O turns into ultimate OH NO
ROBOT COW teaches Saudi kids where milk comes from
Udderly ridiculous bovine intervention is beyond the pail
At #guardiancoffee, we can now TASTE THE FUTURE through a PRISM!
I have measured out my life in espresso spoons
Soylent days and soylent nights
Food 2.0 fails the post-pub nosh test
Google erases G8 venue from Earth: Microsoft doesn't
Cameron and chums to hold confab in empty field, apparently