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Cornish separatists take aim at pasty students

Red terror stalks Cornish campus

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Cornish separatists have launched a campaign to scare students out of the county, along with second homers, surfers and celebrity chef Rick Stein.

The Cornish Republican Army was apparently behind a graffiti outrage in Penryn this weekend. The chilling words "Penryn has had enough of students" with the tag CRA were visible to visitors to University College Falmouth's open day, the Western Morning News reports.

Penryn is apparently a hot bed of agitation at present. Locals are currently objecting to the building of 231 student flats.

A spokesman for the University told the paper: "Our students also play an active role in town life by volunteering to help with a wide range of local projects and as institutions, our strong relationships with local partners encourage a sense of community responsibility and civic pride."

Which is reassuring, as most people associate students with binge drinking, vomit stained streets, noisy parties, and missing street furniture. Or, worse, pathetic attempts to blend in with the local culture.

The CRA are, of course, the successors to the Cornish National Liberation Army, who are of course, the successors to An Gof and the Cornish Liberation Army.

The CNLA was famously dubbed the OohArrA by the tabloids. It claims to receive support from other Celtic peoples around the world. And possibly even more when the pubs close. ®

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