Feeds

Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

BBC pushes 'The Mind Persuader' into nation's consciousness

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

A stage hypnotist from Yorkshire burst into the Sunday papers this weekend after it emerged that Britain's ladies are using his self-hypnosis CDs to increase their breast size by as much as two cups.

David Knight came onto the papers' radar when the BBC issued a press release ahead of a documentary it claims "shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an "accredited" hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications".

According to the Beeb, Knight "quotes an 85 per cent success rate. He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the Seventies."

He says, the Beeb claims: "Every lady's breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact."

However, Knight displays the evidence here on his website [scientific but arguably not safe for work] where he cites a study which showed results of as much as two inches' worth of bust improvement.

He cites one happy customer's testimonial: "I have been using them faithfully for about three weeks now and have grown one inch already!!! ... The other thing is, I have lost two inches around my waist, however I have also been working out quite a bit as well! ...I just had to share my success with you, no one else would believe me (except my husband) Thank You so much for your good work. You are just GREAT!!!"

It's not just the ladies who can benefit from Knight's gift though. He also claims his CDs can put martial artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor. With the power of Hypnosis you will always perform at your best with a sharp and clear mind."

Is there nothing that won't succumb to hypnosis?

Not much it seems, with Knight claiming success against phobias, smoking and flagging sex drives.

Even irritable bowel syndrome will succumb, as his CDs will alleviate the stress that is often behind the crippling condition. But Knight admits even hypnosis has its limits, warning: "Rectal bleeding is never caused by IBS, and any rectal bleeding must be properly and thoroughly evaluated." ®

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.