Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels
BBC pushes 'The Mind Persuader' into nation's consciousness
A stage hypnotist from Yorkshire burst into the Sunday papers this weekend after it emerged that Britain's ladies are using his self-hypnosis CDs to increase their breast size by as much as two cups.
David Knight came onto the papers' radar when the BBC issued a press release ahead of a documentary it claims "shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an "accredited" hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications".
According to the Beeb, Knight "quotes an 85 per cent success rate. He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the Seventies."
He says, the Beeb claims: "Every lady's breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact."
However, Knight displays the evidence here on his website [scientific but arguably not safe for work] where he cites a study which showed results of as much as two inches' worth of bust improvement.
He cites one happy customer's testimonial: "I have been using them faithfully for about three weeks now and have grown one inch already!!! ... The other thing is, I have lost two inches around my waist, however I have also been working out quite a bit as well! ...I just had to share my success with you, no one else would believe me (except my husband) Thank You so much for your good work. You are just GREAT!!!"
It's not just the ladies who can benefit from Knight's gift though. He also claims his CDs can put martial artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor. With the power of Hypnosis you will always perform at your best with a sharp and clear mind."
Is there nothing that won't succumb to hypnosis?
Not much it seems, with Knight claiming success against phobias, smoking and flagging sex drives.
Even irritable bowel syndrome will succumb, as his CDs will alleviate the stress that is often behind the crippling condition. But Knight admits even hypnosis has its limits, warning: "Rectal bleeding is never caused by IBS, and any rectal bleeding must be properly and thoroughly evaluated." ®
It Is Absolute
Bollocks (or should I say codswallop) to claim that IBS can be cured by self hypnosis. A gastroenterology consultant told me that IBS is the name used for a load of gut related symptoms of which medics aren't sure what the causes are. I've had it for 10 years now and the only way I've found to keep it under control is really simple. No self hypnosis, no CDs, no gurus, no meditation, no pan pipe music, no gong bonging with sticks made from bamboo and llama hair, no spending obscene amounts of money on magical sounding and bloody difficult to pronounce cures.
All I have to do is just lay off the things that don't set it off. Nothing to do with stress. Just keep off the Parmesan cheese, Pot Noodle (filthy stuff), anything with chilli or hot spices (no vindaloo for this Cod) and anything with certain processed ingredients.
Recently I discovered that sushi can have devastating after effects too.
It's not rocket science or a magical cure-all, just common sense. If something makes my guts produce something as evil and corrosive as Alien blood and as hot as liquid magma, don't eat it again.
Flame for obvious reasons.
That's the best comment I've read in ages!
Yes, It's got Daniel Jones in the pocket.
I tried a hynpotist once.....
.....to help me give up smoking. He would record the sessions so that I could take the tape home and spend an hour or 2 listening to them.
The day he told me it didn't matter if I fell asleep listening to them as it would "still work" is the day I realised that he was no more worthy of scientific credibility than those "learn french while you sleep" load of bollocks that were popular a few years ago.
It's all a load of total crap.