Feeds

Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

BBC pushes 'The Mind Persuader' into nation's consciousness

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

A stage hypnotist from Yorkshire burst into the Sunday papers this weekend after it emerged that Britain's ladies are using his self-hypnosis CDs to increase their breast size by as much as two cups.

David Knight came onto the papers' radar when the BBC issued a press release ahead of a documentary it claims "shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an "accredited" hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications".

According to the Beeb, Knight "quotes an 85 per cent success rate. He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the Seventies."

He says, the Beeb claims: "Every lady's breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact."

However, Knight displays the evidence here on his website [scientific but arguably not safe for work] where he cites a study which showed results of as much as two inches' worth of bust improvement.

He cites one happy customer's testimonial: "I have been using them faithfully for about three weeks now and have grown one inch already!!! ... The other thing is, I have lost two inches around my waist, however I have also been working out quite a bit as well! ...I just had to share my success with you, no one else would believe me (except my husband) Thank You so much for your good work. You are just GREAT!!!"

It's not just the ladies who can benefit from Knight's gift though. He also claims his CDs can put martial artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor. With the power of Hypnosis you will always perform at your best with a sharp and clear mind."

Is there nothing that won't succumb to hypnosis?

Not much it seems, with Knight claiming success against phobias, smoking and flagging sex drives.

Even irritable bowel syndrome will succumb, as his CDs will alleviate the stress that is often behind the crippling condition. But Knight admits even hypnosis has its limits, warning: "Rectal bleeding is never caused by IBS, and any rectal bleeding must be properly and thoroughly evaluated." ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*
* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Fire fighters call for no-drone zone around bushfires
UAVs can take down water-spaffing 'copters, so firies want them to butt out
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Simplify SSL certificate management across the enterprise
Simple steps to take control of SSL across the enterprise, and recommendations for a management platform for full visibility and single-point of control for these Certificates.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.