Feeds

Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

BBC pushes 'The Mind Persuader' into nation's consciousness

Security for virtualized datacentres

A stage hypnotist from Yorkshire burst into the Sunday papers this weekend after it emerged that Britain's ladies are using his self-hypnosis CDs to increase their breast size by as much as two cups.

David Knight came onto the papers' radar when the BBC issued a press release ahead of a documentary it claims "shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an "accredited" hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications".

According to the Beeb, Knight "quotes an 85 per cent success rate. He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the Seventies."

He says, the Beeb claims: "Every lady's breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact."

However, Knight displays the evidence here on his website [scientific but arguably not safe for work] where he cites a study which showed results of as much as two inches' worth of bust improvement.

He cites one happy customer's testimonial: "I have been using them faithfully for about three weeks now and have grown one inch already!!! ... The other thing is, I have lost two inches around my waist, however I have also been working out quite a bit as well! ...I just had to share my success with you, no one else would believe me (except my husband) Thank You so much for your good work. You are just GREAT!!!"

It's not just the ladies who can benefit from Knight's gift though. He also claims his CDs can put martial artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor. With the power of Hypnosis you will always perform at your best with a sharp and clear mind."

Is there nothing that won't succumb to hypnosis?

Not much it seems, with Knight claiming success against phobias, smoking and flagging sex drives.

Even irritable bowel syndrome will succumb, as his CDs will alleviate the stress that is often behind the crippling condition. But Knight admits even hypnosis has its limits, warning: "Rectal bleeding is never caused by IBS, and any rectal bleeding must be properly and thoroughly evaluated." ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.