Feeds

Hypnotist expands breasts, cures irritable bowels

BBC pushes 'The Mind Persuader' into nation's consciousness

The essential guide to IT transformation

A stage hypnotist from Yorkshire burst into the Sunday papers this weekend after it emerged that Britain's ladies are using his self-hypnosis CDs to increase their breast size by as much as two cups.

David Knight came onto the papers' radar when the BBC issued a press release ahead of a documentary it claims "shows how easy it is to set yourself up as an "accredited" hypnotherapist with absolutely no qualifications".

According to the Beeb, Knight "quotes an 85 per cent success rate. He tells Inside Out that his figure is based on his own customer feedback and a study of 22 women carried out in the Seventies."

He says, the Beeb claims: "Every lady's breasts today have been grown by the mind. The mind grows it, so the mind can enhance it. Fact."

However, Knight displays the evidence here on his website [scientific but arguably not safe for work] where he cites a study which showed results of as much as two inches' worth of bust improvement.

He cites one happy customer's testimonial: "I have been using them faithfully for about three weeks now and have grown one inch already!!! ... The other thing is, I have lost two inches around my waist, however I have also been working out quite a bit as well! ...I just had to share my success with you, no one else would believe me (except my husband) Thank You so much for your good work. You are just GREAT!!!"

It's not just the ladies who can benefit from Knight's gift though. He also claims his CDs can put martial artists "in the perfect zone to complete your task and beat any competitor. With the power of Hypnosis you will always perform at your best with a sharp and clear mind."

Is there nothing that won't succumb to hypnosis?

Not much it seems, with Knight claiming success against phobias, smoking and flagging sex drives.

Even irritable bowel syndrome will succumb, as his CDs will alleviate the stress that is often behind the crippling condition. But Knight admits even hypnosis has its limits, warning: "Rectal bleeding is never caused by IBS, and any rectal bleeding must be properly and thoroughly evaluated." ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?