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Trucker prangs rig while cracking one off

Drug-induced five-knuckle shuffle, police suspect

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Swedish police believe that a German lorry driver who crashed his vehicle near Borås earlier this week may have been off his box on drugs, according to the Borås Tidning newspaper.

Suspicions that the unnamed 30-something trucker, who collided with the central reservation and flipped his vehicle, could have ingested illegal narcotics were aroused when he admitted he'd been cracking one off at the time of the prang.

Police prosecutor Åsa Askenbäck confirmed: "He has admitted that he was not paying full attention at the time of the accident. He was playing with himself instead of focusing on the road."

Furthermore, police who attended the scene discovered the hardened German still hard at it. Askenbäck added: "He was masturbating while the police interrogated him."

Cue a cuffing for reckless driving, driving while under the influence of drugs and "sexual molestation". Whether the latter charge relates to an outrage against police officers or his own todger is not noted.

The perp has admitted all the charges against him, the Borås Tidning notes. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

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