Feeds

Blind one-legged man wins arse-kicking contest

Rum-fuelled piratical rampage quelled by Taser

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

A partially-sighted, one-legged man who had consumed a substantial quantity of rum was accused of attempted murder after he set about four American policemen single-handed earlier this week brandishing an assortment of cutting and stabbing weapons. The understandably alarmed plods subdued their assailant by the use of a Taser electroprod gun.

The Pueblo Chieftain reports today on the fracas, which took place on Monday in Colorado. According to court statements, four Pueblo cops responded to an emergency call made by a member of the public.

On arrival, the officers found James Ray Howard, 42, "shirtless on his front lawn" while brandishing a steak knife and a 12-inch metal spike. Howard later told police that he had consumed "a pint of rum" and unspecified prescription medication prior to the encounter. He is reportedly "legally blind" and has had one foot amputated, besides suffering from "other maladies".

According to the cops, on sighting them Howard uttered "threatening remarks" and made at them in an "aggressive manner". His aspect was sufficiently alarming that the cops understandably declined to engage in any hand-to-hand combat, despite their assailant's presumably limited abilities.

One officer discharged his Taser, planting the weapon's twin barbs into Howard's head and shoulder and zapping him with a crippling electric current. The legless one-legged scuffler was then disarmed and "brought under control".

The encounter was apparently sufficiently upsetting that the responding plods originally recommended a charge of attempted first-degree murder against Howard, but in the event he was written up only for first-degree assault. Perhaps having in mind the cops' advantages in numbers, limbs and un-addled mental processes during the Monday dustup, prosecutors eventually settled for a plea of guilty to a misdemeanour resisting-arrest charge.

The Chieftain reports that Howard is eligible for probation, and will be sentenced in November. His mother reportedly told police that he had been upset because his wife departed overseas some time ago and he hasn't heard from her for two months.

There was nothing in the report, but it's hard not to speculate that Howard may be keen to get home in order to feed his parrot. ®

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Website security in corporate America
Find out how you rank among other IT managers testing your website's vulnerabilities.