Feeds

Swedish military combustobra: Jubtastic snap

Overheated conscript caught on camera

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

You demanded it, and here it is: our exclusive snap of a Swedish military combustobra incident, which shows just what happens when buxom female recruits subject government-issue brassieres to excessively "rigorous exercises":

Our sensational image of the combustobra incident

As you can see (in close-up, if you click the pic), fire-suppression operatives have moved quicker than a pack of Örebro devil girls to prevent a full-scale jub inferno. In her state of panic, the smouldering recruit has dropped her weapons, and three bullet-starved Yanks are closing in faster than you can say "National Rifle Association" to strip her firearms of their precious loads of ammunition.

On the right, meanwhile, Reg defence hack Lewis Page is photographically primed to capture the action should the incipient blaze require the hasty removal of female clothing.

Unsurprisingly, in all the excitement no one has clocked Abdullah Hassan Tali' al-Asiri launching a suicide bombing assault from the rear. The al-Qaeda batty-bomber's attempt to impose Islamic will has rather backfired, and his inadequate load of jacksie gelignite has done nothing more than move his arse a bit closer to his elbow.

Mercifully, Optimus Prime is on hand to mop up the resulting malodorous mess. ®

Bootnote

In case you're wondering, Lewis always dresses like that for work - on permanent standby should his bomb disposal skills be required to remove a Russkie limpet mine clamped to the hull of one of her Maj's naval vessels, or indeed in case a fellow journalist drops his or her iPhone down a particularly challenging khazi.

Related stories

El Reg's world-famous Playmobil coverage can be found right here.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
ePassport to Transnistria: NEXTIFYING the Nation State with BONG
Hey the Man, you can't geoblock distributed democracy
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Trolls have DARK TETRAD of personality defects, say trickcyclists
Think psychopathy and BDSM dungeons, not desktops
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.