Feeds

Swedish military combustobra: Jubtastic snap

Overheated conscript caught on camera

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

You demanded it, and here it is: our exclusive snap of a Swedish military combustobra incident, which shows just what happens when buxom female recruits subject government-issue brassieres to excessively "rigorous exercises":

Our sensational image of the combustobra incident

As you can see (in close-up, if you click the pic), fire-suppression operatives have moved quicker than a pack of Örebro devil girls to prevent a full-scale jub inferno. In her state of panic, the smouldering recruit has dropped her weapons, and three bullet-starved Yanks are closing in faster than you can say "National Rifle Association" to strip her firearms of their precious loads of ammunition.

On the right, meanwhile, Reg defence hack Lewis Page is photographically primed to capture the action should the incipient blaze require the hasty removal of female clothing.

Unsurprisingly, in all the excitement no one has clocked Abdullah Hassan Tali' al-Asiri launching a suicide bombing assault from the rear. The al-Qaeda batty-bomber's attempt to impose Islamic will has rather backfired, and his inadequate load of jacksie gelignite has done nothing more than move his arse a bit closer to his elbow.

Mercifully, Optimus Prime is on hand to mop up the resulting malodorous mess. ®

Bootnote

In case you're wondering, Lewis always dresses like that for work - on permanent standby should his bomb disposal skills be required to remove a Russkie limpet mine clamped to the hull of one of her Maj's naval vessels, or indeed in case a fellow journalist drops his or her iPhone down a particularly challenging khazi.

Related stories

El Reg's world-famous Playmobil coverage can be found right here.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.