Feeds

Fujitsu battles WMDs with online survey

Server maker targets really honest terrorists

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Like other dutiful hardware manufacturers, Fujitsu is doing its bit to fight the war on terror with a customer survey.

Fujitsu is a long-time distributor of Sun Microsystems' Solaris Unix variant, which runs on its PrimePower and Sparc Enterprise lines of Sparc boxes. As part of its Solaris patching site, it has a brief survey that it asks end users to take, asking them if they are engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction.

It very helpfully gives a working definition of what constitutes WMDs, (in case anyone was uncertain), which as far as Fujitsu is concerned are "nuclear weapons, chemical weapons, biological weapons and toxic weapons, devices spreading bio-chemicals for military use, rockets with at least 300km of range, and unmanned aircraft of at least 300km of range."

Fujitsu also wants to know if its Solaris shops are engaged in nuclear fuel or nuclear reactor research, or the development of micro-organisms, toxins, rockets, unmanned aircraft, and other aerospace research. There is another Yes/No question about the use of Solaris for battle tanks, offensive space weapons, warships, helicopters and the like - also including night goggles. (Solaris powered night goggles? Beer goggles, perhaps...)

So, how does Fujitsu ensure that people getting patches are not lying about what they do? Export rules in the United States and Japan prohibit the export of technology used for these purposes, which the Fujitsu patch site warns you if you answer yes to any of those questions. But then the Fujitsu site allows you to log in and get the patches just the same, provided you have a customer ID and password, even if you answer yes.

Homeland security. Right.

Not that any of this matters. It is common knowledge that terrorists all prefer Linux, anyway. But they do fight amongst themselves over which distro is better, just like law-abiding citizens and nerds who work for governments that, ironically, have the right to do all the same things that terrorists can't. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
The total economic impact of Druva inSync
Examining the ROI enterprises may realize by implementing inSync, as they look to improve backup and recovery of endpoint data in a cost-effective manner.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.