Feeds

Society bible lectures students on etiquette

Yes, yes, but how can I lose my virginity?

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

As another crop of 18-year-olds heads to college for the first time, University towns across the land are bracing themselves for the bacchanalian orgy known as freshers' week.

Thankfully, any parents worried that their nearest and dearest are going to fall prey to the Rugby Club's front row or end up flogging copies of Socialist Worker on Saturday mornings might do worse than to point their offspring towards society and etiquette experts Debretts' list of pointers on Freshers Etiquette.

Debretts top tips include: "Introduce yourself to strangers at parties. Everyone is in the same boat, so don't worry about making the first move."

Once the ice is broken, Freshers should "Listen to what other people tell you, and ask questions. Conversation is likely to be about A-level results, school, courses and gap years." Well, that's five minutes sorted, before a rapid degeneration into moaning about student loan delays, debating classic TV programmes, and bitching about newly acquired flatmates/classmates.

Things do get a bit confusing at this point. One the one hand, students are advised to "Be social. Operate an open door policy when you move into your halls."

Sounds good to us, but before you know, Debretts is being all prim and proper, suggesting that "While it's good to be open to new experiences, exercise a little caution. You may end up doing something in freshers' week that will haunt you for the next three years.

Which is a politer way of expressing number seven: "Away from parental and school supervision, hormones will run high. Make sure you're not the talk of the campus."

All good stuff, if slightly generalist - we can't help thinking that there's some etiquette points that geeks in training may want to consider. Perhaps advice to flush your cache and history list before letting potential romantic interests use your PC would be pertinent. Also, it might be good to point out that going to the Freshers Ball as your SecondLife avatar is unlikely to make it a night to remember - not for you anyway.

The full list is here

If you've got any other advice for the younger generation, you know where to stick it. ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.