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New Guinea sex cult eyes bumper banana crop

Public nookie boosts harvest, guru claims

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Papua New Guinea police have dispatched officers to a remote village where the leader of a sex cult rather brilliantly promised locals "a bumper banana harvest" if they made the beast with two backs in public.

Apparently, the deal was that every time villagers from Yamina in Morobe province got their rocks off, the banana yield would increase.

They don't seem to have been too convinced, though, because one poor bloke trekked the 60 miles to the nearest town to complain that guru Thomas Peli has for four months been using threats of violence to enforce his radical banana fertility plan.

Three officers duly yomped to Yamina over the weekend, but Peli had legged it into the bush. The Post Courier concludes that reinforcements have been sent to the area. ®

Bootnote

There's no indication as to whether Peli's method works. If it does, then Britain's dogging hotspots must surely be prime potential locations for banana plantations, the better to relieve Blighty's dependence on West Indian imports.

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