Feeds

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Cry if you want to

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Cool for spotty cats

Now, heads up everybody and no more interruptions. As you will know if you had read your invite properly, Eric, I chose the Setting Up with Ease theme, so I'm going to start by installing Windows 7 Ultimate. But I won't be installing the ordinary version. Oh no. I talked my contact at Reading HQ into sending me something a little bit special, to make it even more of a party occasion. So I've got the Russian version here. How's your Cyrillic, Veronica? I seem to remember you did Eastern Europe Studies at Uni.

Verity, I don't want to be rude, but do you think you could switch off your phone and put it away? What? Oh, I didn't realise, I didn't hear it go off. From your sister? In the hospital? Poor Jenny! What? Oh I am sorry, of course it's Parity, I remember now. Darling, that's dreadful. Of course you must go to Parity. It's funny, because I thought you told me she had moved to Canada. Oh I see. What a frightful thing to happen on a flying visit. That's London for you. You must send her all our love. I'll see you out.

OK, here's your coat and, I shouldn't really give you a goody-bag since you didn't stay for the main Powerpoint presentation, but would you like to... No? Really? It's even got a Windows 7 mousepad shaped like Steve Ballmer's lightness-of-touch, just the thing to cheer up Parity? Fair enough, have it your way. Bye-bye darling. Thanks so much for coming, mwah! mwah! Hope your sis is better soon.

Hey Verity, you're going in the wrong direction - tube's back the other way. Oh really? Didn't realise there was a rank there. At least walking that way you'll get a closer look at those party lights. I wonder what they are supposed to be. What? A spotty, yellow cat in a white wig?

Don't be silly Verity. What could that possibly mean? ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20
It was 20 years ago today, Marc Andreeesen taught the band to play
Sway: Microsoft's new Office app doesn't have an Undo function
Content aggregation, meet the workplace ... oh
Sign off my IT project or I’ll PHONE your MUM
Honestly, it’s a piece of piss
Return of the Jedi – Apache reclaims web server crown
.london, .hamburg and .公司 - that's .com in Chinese - storm the web server charts
Chrome 38's new HTML tag support makes fatties FIT and SKINNIER
First browser to protect networks' bandwith using official spec
Admins! Never mind POODLE, there're NEW OpenSSL bugs to splat
Four new patches for open-source crypto libraries
Torvalds CONFESSES: 'I'm pretty good at alienating devs'
Admits to 'a metric ****load' of mistakes during work with Linux collaborators
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.