Feeds

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Cry if you want to

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Cool for spotty cats

Now, heads up everybody and no more interruptions. As you will know if you had read your invite properly, Eric, I chose the Setting Up with Ease theme, so I'm going to start by installing Windows 7 Ultimate. But I won't be installing the ordinary version. Oh no. I talked my contact at Reading HQ into sending me something a little bit special, to make it even more of a party occasion. So I've got the Russian version here. How's your Cyrillic, Veronica? I seem to remember you did Eastern Europe Studies at Uni.

Verity, I don't want to be rude, but do you think you could switch off your phone and put it away? What? Oh, I didn't realise, I didn't hear it go off. From your sister? In the hospital? Poor Jenny! What? Oh I am sorry, of course it's Parity, I remember now. Darling, that's dreadful. Of course you must go to Parity. It's funny, because I thought you told me she had moved to Canada. Oh I see. What a frightful thing to happen on a flying visit. That's London for you. You must send her all our love. I'll see you out.

OK, here's your coat and, I shouldn't really give you a goody-bag since you didn't stay for the main Powerpoint presentation, but would you like to... No? Really? It's even got a Windows 7 mousepad shaped like Steve Ballmer's lightness-of-touch, just the thing to cheer up Parity? Fair enough, have it your way. Bye-bye darling. Thanks so much for coming, mwah! mwah! Hope your sis is better soon.

Hey Verity, you're going in the wrong direction - tube's back the other way. Oh really? Didn't realise there was a rank there. At least walking that way you'll get a closer look at those party lights. I wonder what they are supposed to be. What? A spotty, yellow cat in a white wig?

Don't be silly Verity. What could that possibly mean? ®

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
BBC: We're going to slip CODING into kids' TV
Pureed-carrot-in-ice cream C++ surprise
China: You, Microsoft. Office-Windows 'compatibility'. You have 20 days to explain
Told to cough up more details as antitrust probe goes deeper
Linux turns 23 and Linus Torvalds celebrates as only he can
No, not with swearing, but by controlling the release cycle
Scratched PC-dispatch patch patched, hatched in batch rematch
Windows security update fixed after triggering blue screens (and screams) of death
This is how I set about making a fortune with my own startup
Would you leave your well-paid job to chase your dream?
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.