Feeds

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Cry if you want to

Security for virtualized datacentres

Cool for spotty cats

Now, heads up everybody and no more interruptions. As you will know if you had read your invite properly, Eric, I chose the Setting Up with Ease theme, so I'm going to start by installing Windows 7 Ultimate. But I won't be installing the ordinary version. Oh no. I talked my contact at Reading HQ into sending me something a little bit special, to make it even more of a party occasion. So I've got the Russian version here. How's your Cyrillic, Veronica? I seem to remember you did Eastern Europe Studies at Uni.

Verity, I don't want to be rude, but do you think you could switch off your phone and put it away? What? Oh, I didn't realise, I didn't hear it go off. From your sister? In the hospital? Poor Jenny! What? Oh I am sorry, of course it's Parity, I remember now. Darling, that's dreadful. Of course you must go to Parity. It's funny, because I thought you told me she had moved to Canada. Oh I see. What a frightful thing to happen on a flying visit. That's London for you. You must send her all our love. I'll see you out.

OK, here's your coat and, I shouldn't really give you a goody-bag since you didn't stay for the main Powerpoint presentation, but would you like to... No? Really? It's even got a Windows 7 mousepad shaped like Steve Ballmer's lightness-of-touch, just the thing to cheer up Parity? Fair enough, have it your way. Bye-bye darling. Thanks so much for coming, mwah! mwah! Hope your sis is better soon.

Hey Verity, you're going in the wrong direction - tube's back the other way. Oh really? Didn't realise there was a rank there. At least walking that way you'll get a closer look at those party lights. I wonder what they are supposed to be. What? A spotty, yellow cat in a white wig?

Don't be silly Verity. What could that possibly mean? ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Preview redux: Microsoft ships new Windows 10 build with 7,000 changes
Latest bleeding-edge bits borrow Action Center from Windows Phone
Google opens Inbox – email for people too thick to handle email
Print this article out and give it to someone tech-y if you get stuck
Microsoft promises Windows 10 will mean two-factor auth for all
Sneak peek at security features Redmond's baking into new OS
UNIX greybeards threaten Debian fork over systemd plan
'Veteran Unix Admins' fear desktop emphasis is betraying open source
Entity Framework goes 'code first' as Microsoft pulls visual design tool
Visual Studio database diagramming's out the window
Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...
Wobbly Gmail, Contacts, Calendar on the other hand ...
DEATH by PowerPoint: Microsoft warns of 0-day attack hidden in slides
Might put out patch in update, might chuck it out sooner
Redmond top man Satya Nadella: 'Microsoft LOVES Linux'
Open-source 'love' fairly runneth over at cloud event
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.