Feeds

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Cry if you want to

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Stob What are you doing on Oct 22? Microsoft is putting a Tupperware-style twist on the upcoming Windows 7 rollout, launching a new initiative to encourage thousands of employees, partners and technology enthusiasts to throw parties in their homes and communities to demonstrate and help spread the word about its new OS - Slashdot

Party themes from which you can choose include "PhotoPalooza, Media Mania, Setting up with Ease, and Family Friendly Fun". - El Reg

Hiiiiiyah Verity, mwah! mwah! Thanks so much for coming out on a night like this. Come on in, and let me take your coat. You look lovely, darling.

You found us then. I don't know what is going on over there. Disgraceful that we don't know our neighbours across the street - that's London for you. Yes, they put those fancy lights up on the roof today - I think it supposed to be a picture of something. It is a bit early for Christmas. They must be having a party too. Still, you managed to find the right one, hahaha. No, hardly anybody yet.

You shouldn't have, there was no need for that. Well, you can never have too many bottles of dry white, can you? Let's see. Oh. No-no, that's fine. I didn't know that Lidl did wine either, but you are the second person tonight, so what do I know? Obviously the choice of the connoisseur, eh? Come through to the kitchen and we'll get you fixed up with a glass.

Oh. It's a bit crowded in here, isn't it? Stand aside, guys, make room. Geoffrey, a drink for Verity, please. You know Wooj and Peter, don't you? And - guys, guys, a moment please? John and Veronica Paterson, this is Verity - and this is Denise and Eric - and this is...

Excuse me, boys, but what are you doing with my Windows 7 table top decorative centrepiece? Please be very careful. Yes, I can see you men have dropped your free gift Windows 7 memory sticks into it, Eric, although I don't remember saying anyone could open their Windows 7 tote bags yet. My question was: why are you putting you free gift memory sticks into the table top centrepiece?

What? What does Veronica do, when she has picked one out? What? Oh no, I don't think she had better do that. Actually, I think that's disgusting, and I'm pretty sure that it's against Microsoft's Ts and Cs. I don't care if you do think I'm just an old fridge magnet, Eric. I'm not going to let you spoil the party for everybody.

Look, let's not have an argument about it now. Just put everything back and we'll say no more. Verity, take no notice of these... these silly people, come on through to the sitting room. Why don't you park your bottom on the... Ah, yes, this little chap is James. Denise's babysitter let her down at the last minute - that's London for you. Isn't he sweet? But he's terribly shy. Hello Jamie, meet Aunty Verity. Say hello to Aunty Verity, Jamie-Wamie. Ooogy-poogy poo! Oooogy poogy coogy woogy...

Eugh. Jamie, no, bad boy, stop that. Denise? Denise, darling, can you come and take charge of Jamie, please? No, I dare say they won't do him any harm, Denise, but that's not the only consideration. Think if somebody else wants to do the Windows 7 Desktop Design puzzle. It's hardly hygienic, and they won't be able to finish it.

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NO MORE ALL CAPS and other pleasures of Visual Studio 14
Unpicking a packed preview that breaks down ASP.NET
Captain Kirk sets phaser to SLAUGHTER after trying new Facebook app
William Shatner less-than-impressed by Zuck's celebrity-only app
Apple fanbois SCREAM as update BRICKS their Macbook Airs
Ragegasm spills over as firmware upgrade kills machines
Cheer up, Nokia fans. It can start making mobes again in 18 months
The real winner of the Nokia sale is *drumroll* ... Nokia
Mozilla fixes CRITICAL security holes in Firefox, urges v31 upgrade
Misc memory hazards 'could be exploited' - and guess what, one's a Javascript vuln
Put down that Oracle database patch: It could cost $23,000 per CPU
On-by-default INMEMORY tech a boon for developers ... as long as they can afford it
Google shows off new Chrome OS look
Athena springs full-grown from Chromium project's head
Apple: We'll unleash OS X Yosemite beta on the MASSES on 24 July
Starting today, regular fanbois will be guinea pigs, it tells Reg
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.