Feeds

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Cry if you want to

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

Stob What are you doing on Oct 22? Microsoft is putting a Tupperware-style twist on the upcoming Windows 7 rollout, launching a new initiative to encourage thousands of employees, partners and technology enthusiasts to throw parties in their homes and communities to demonstrate and help spread the word about its new OS - Slashdot

Party themes from which you can choose include "PhotoPalooza, Media Mania, Setting up with Ease, and Family Friendly Fun". - El Reg

Hiiiiiyah Verity, mwah! mwah! Thanks so much for coming out on a night like this. Come on in, and let me take your coat. You look lovely, darling.

You found us then. I don't know what is going on over there. Disgraceful that we don't know our neighbours across the street - that's London for you. Yes, they put those fancy lights up on the roof today - I think it supposed to be a picture of something. It is a bit early for Christmas. They must be having a party too. Still, you managed to find the right one, hahaha. No, hardly anybody yet.

You shouldn't have, there was no need for that. Well, you can never have too many bottles of dry white, can you? Let's see. Oh. No-no, that's fine. I didn't know that Lidl did wine either, but you are the second person tonight, so what do I know? Obviously the choice of the connoisseur, eh? Come through to the kitchen and we'll get you fixed up with a glass.

Oh. It's a bit crowded in here, isn't it? Stand aside, guys, make room. Geoffrey, a drink for Verity, please. You know Wooj and Peter, don't you? And - guys, guys, a moment please? John and Veronica Paterson, this is Verity - and this is Denise and Eric - and this is...

Excuse me, boys, but what are you doing with my Windows 7 table top decorative centrepiece? Please be very careful. Yes, I can see you men have dropped your free gift Windows 7 memory sticks into it, Eric, although I don't remember saying anyone could open their Windows 7 tote bags yet. My question was: why are you putting you free gift memory sticks into the table top centrepiece?

What? What does Veronica do, when she has picked one out? What? Oh no, I don't think she had better do that. Actually, I think that's disgusting, and I'm pretty sure that it's against Microsoft's Ts and Cs. I don't care if you do think I'm just an old fridge magnet, Eric. I'm not going to let you spoil the party for everybody.

Look, let's not have an argument about it now. Just put everything back and we'll say no more. Verity, take no notice of these... these silly people, come on through to the sitting room. Why don't you park your bottom on the... Ah, yes, this little chap is James. Denise's babysitter let her down at the last minute - that's London for you. Isn't he sweet? But he's terribly shy. Hello Jamie, meet Aunty Verity. Say hello to Aunty Verity, Jamie-Wamie. Ooogy-poogy poo! Oooogy poogy coogy woogy...

Eugh. Jamie, no, bad boy, stop that. Denise? Denise, darling, can you come and take charge of Jamie, please? No, I dare say they won't do him any harm, Denise, but that's not the only consideration. Think if somebody else wants to do the Windows 7 Desktop Design puzzle. It's hardly hygienic, and they won't be able to finish it.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Preview redux: Microsoft ships new Windows 10 build with 7,000 changes
Latest bleeding-edge bits borrow Action Center from Windows Phone
Google opens Inbox – email for people too thick to handle email
Print this article out and give it to someone tech-y if you get stuck
Microsoft promises Windows 10 will mean two-factor auth for all
Sneak peek at security features Redmond's baking into new OS
FTDI yanks chip-bricking driver from Windows Update, vows to fight on
Next driver to battle fake chips with 'non-invasive' methods
UNIX greybeards threaten Debian fork over systemd plan
'Veteran Unix Admins' fear desktop emphasis is betraying open source
Entity Framework goes 'code first' as Microsoft pulls visual design tool
Visual Studio database diagramming's out the window
Google+ goes TITSUP. But WHO knew? How long? Anyone ... Hello ...
Wobbly Gmail, Contacts, Calendar on the other hand ...
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.