Feeds

Todger-chop woman's sentence depends on hard evidence

Turkish court waits to see if victim regains wood

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

A Turkish woman who cut off her lover's penis is now anxiously awaiting the result of a todger-reattachment op which will determine the length of her prison sentence*, Reuters reports.

The 39-year-old woman claimed she was prompted to separate her 28-year-old boyf from his manhood after he "had broken his promise to marry her and forced her into prostitution and beat her".

While he was drunk, she explained in court, she relieved him of his spam javelin and "threw it onto the roof of a neighbouring building".

Mercifully, surgeons were subsequently able to reattach the member during an 11-hour operation, and now say the victim should be able to regain wood within six months.

The chop-happy defendant's fate now rests between her former squeeze's legs. The court has deferred sentencing for 18 months to determine whether a) he makes a full recovery (between one and three years in jail), or is b) permanently disabled (at least eight years' hard time).

A court source confirmed: "To determine which crime was committed, we first need the report. We'll continue holding hearings in the trial from time to time until we receive the report." ®

Bootnote

*And presumably the modified length of the poor bloke's trouser snake.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Driving business with continuous operational intelligence
Introducing an innovative approach offered by ExtraHop for producing continuous operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.