Feeds

Why teachers fear Callum, Chelsea, Connor and Crystal

School register of mischief

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

As teachers eye the register on the first day back at school this September, they'll be nervously keeping a sharp look-out for certain names which "strike fear into the nation's tutors".

The list of those likely to make mischief includes young 'uns dubbed Aliesha, Brooke, Brooklyn, Casey, Chelsea, Connor, Crystal, Demi, Jack, Jake, Jessica, Kyle, and (pay attention at the back there El Reg's Executive Vice President, Global Sales), Liam.

This roster of foreboding comes courtesy of Bounty.com, which polled 3,000 blackboard botherers to determine just which names spell trouble. Doubtless there are those among you who have a lad called Jake who's an absolute angel, but that makes no difference to tremulous teachers, because they've already got him marked down as a wrong 'un as soon as they clock his ID.

Indeed, 49 per cent of those polled admitted they "make assumptions about a child when they take their first look at the register in September".

Bounty’s Faye Mingo diplomatically offered: “Teachers are only human and make assumptions like the rest of us. Rightly or wrongly, most of us make assumptions based on something as simple as a person’s name and we base these on our previous experiences."

There is, however, some good news for Jessica or Demi's mum and dad: 57 percent of pollees said "the naughtiest children at school are also the most popular and often make friends easier than well behaved children".

Furthermore, over a third "claimed that the naughtiest children are often the brightest - and the most sensitive".

So there you have it. For the record, the poll also gleaned the names least likely to provoke a panic attack, so if you want your kids well disciplined but insensitive and friendless, you'd better stick with Alexander, Alice, Benjamin, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Emma, Harry and William. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.