Feeds

Extra large condoms hit UK supermarket shelves

Keeping up with the Joneses getting harder

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Tesco started selling a new range of Durex Extra Large condoms today, in what it insists is a response to surging consumer demand.

Tesco's healthcare buyer claimed that customer research had show there was "growing demand for an extra large condom" with the store apparently receiving 200 calls last year from customers demanding a more accommodating rubber.

The embiggened prophylactic is apparently 10mm longer than the standard 205mm version, and 1mm wider.

Sadly, the store and the company didn't say whether that 1mm was on the radius, diameter or circumference, meaning it's tricky to work out exactly how roomy the new range are.

Either way we fear that the XL range will be abused at the hands of some customers, with some benighted lesser endowed buyers sure to claim that if its acceptable to wear turn-ups on their jeans turn-ups surely there's nothing wrong with turn-ups on their condoms.

And if keeping up with the Joneses wasn't hard enough, what will British customers say when they realise that US customers already have the opportunity to buy Durex XXL size rubbers - designed to be "20 per cent large than standard condoms".

Though again, there's no indication as to exactly what dimension we're talking about here. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.