Feeds

Too thick to boil an egg? Buy 'em preboiled

And shelled, naturally

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Having been relieved of the burden of having to make a jam sandwich, those without either the time or the intellectual capacity for basic culinary tasks can now avail themselves of the latest word in labour-saving foodstuffs: Preboiled free range eggs.

Happy Egg Company pack of preboiled eggsYup, the Happy Egg Company will, for just 89p for two or £1.49 for four, boil your eggs "to perfection" for you, whip off the shells and deliver them for collection to the nearest Asda, Waitrose or convenience outlet chain One Stop.

As the company's blurb puts it: "Why wait for your hard boiled eggs to boil when you can now have one in the blink of an eye."

According to the Telegraph, the Happy Egg Company's marketing supremo, Rob Newell, enthused: "Happy Boiled Eggs are the perfect solution for people who love free range eggs but don't have the time or knack to prepare a boiled egg. As the summer months approach, we are confident they will be a real hit for picnics and offer fresh inspiration to those wanting a tasty and nutritious snack in minutes."

In case you're wondering just how happy these eggs are, the hens on the free range coalface are apparently "free to roam on green pasture and are equipped with perching platforms and sandpits to enhance the birds' natural surroundings".

Given the retail price of their preboiled produce, we have no doubt that they'll soon also be enjoying outdoor hot tub facilities, piped chillout whalesong in the egg-laying areas and personal masseurs. ®

Bootnote

Anyone out there who's too thick even to work out what to do with an egg that someone else has boiled for them should note that "as well as being eaten on their own, the eggs can be chopped and served in sandwiches or as part of a summer salad".

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Scale data protection with your virtual environment
To scale at the rate of virtualization growth, data protection solutions need to adopt new capabilities and simplify current features.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?