Feeds

Too thick to boil an egg? Buy 'em preboiled

And shelled, naturally

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

Having been relieved of the burden of having to make a jam sandwich, those without either the time or the intellectual capacity for basic culinary tasks can now avail themselves of the latest word in labour-saving foodstuffs: Preboiled free range eggs.

Happy Egg Company pack of preboiled eggsYup, the Happy Egg Company will, for just 89p for two or £1.49 for four, boil your eggs "to perfection" for you, whip off the shells and deliver them for collection to the nearest Asda, Waitrose or convenience outlet chain One Stop.

As the company's blurb puts it: "Why wait for your hard boiled eggs to boil when you can now have one in the blink of an eye."

According to the Telegraph, the Happy Egg Company's marketing supremo, Rob Newell, enthused: "Happy Boiled Eggs are the perfect solution for people who love free range eggs but don't have the time or knack to prepare a boiled egg. As the summer months approach, we are confident they will be a real hit for picnics and offer fresh inspiration to those wanting a tasty and nutritious snack in minutes."

In case you're wondering just how happy these eggs are, the hens on the free range coalface are apparently "free to roam on green pasture and are equipped with perching platforms and sandpits to enhance the birds' natural surroundings".

Given the retail price of their preboiled produce, we have no doubt that they'll soon also be enjoying outdoor hot tub facilities, piped chillout whalesong in the egg-laying areas and personal masseurs. ®

Bootnote

Anyone out there who's too thick even to work out what to do with an egg that someone else has boiled for them should note that "as well as being eaten on their own, the eggs can be chopped and served in sandwiches or as part of a summer salad".

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.