Feeds

Michael Jackson manifests in California tree stump

'He meant more to us than Jesus'

Remote control for virtualized desktops

The case for the beatification of Michael Jackson has been strengthened by the pop legend's appearance in a California tree stump - the first reported Jesus-like simulacrum of the Man Who Changed the Face of Music Forever™.

Felix Garcia spotted the uncanny likeness of the Man Who Touched the Lives of Millions™ in a birch stump the day after Jacko popped his clogs. He told CBS: "I was standing by that bush, and I looked up and saw that image here."

Garcia has lived in the house for 22 years, but never before noticed the "apparent image". Locals are at a loss to explain why it allegedly resembles Jackson, rather than the traditional Son of God, or indeed "any of the other celebrities who recently passed away", (such as Farrah Fawcett, who to date has sadly not manifested in a Romanian wardrobe or Samsung Flash memory chip).

There may be an explanation, though: Jackson "did visit the city 20 years ago, following the Cleveland School fatal shootings".

A neighbour insisted that the arboreal revelation was "because Michael Jackson was an icon to us". The true believer added: "To Stockton, Michael Jackson meant more to us than Jesus, to some people. I think they're both about even."

Garcia's family think it's unlikely crowds will flock to pay homage to the Sacred Birch of Jackson, but "do hope that nobody tries to cut it down".

Their fears are not unfounded.* Some successful applicants on the online ballot to attend the star's funeral today have attempted to offload their tickets on eBay, amid an unholy rush to profit from his death. ®

Bootnote

*Oh alright then, they are. CBS has a picture of the Holy Stump of St Michael here. We're not convinced.

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'
'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.
The Heartbleed Bug: how to protect your business with Symantec
What happens when the next Heartbleed (or worse) comes along, and what can you do to weather another chapter in an all-too-familiar string of debilitating attacks?