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Spanish bar invites customer abuse

Oi, Pedro, gimme a f**king beer you t**t

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A Spanish bar has introduced a novel way of relieving customer stress during the current global economic apocalypse - free drinks for "original or hilarious abuse" directed at staff.

Bernard Mariusz, owner of Casa Pocho in Cullera near Valencia, reckoned that punters needed an outlet for their frustrations during these dark times, and invited them to deploy Spanish's "rich store of earthy obscenities" so they won't go home and "let it out on their family".

Propping up the bar, client Antonio Ossa rated the initiative as "a good idea". He said: "When you come in after work, you can say swear at them and call them bastard or imbecile."

As one of the English speaking world's leading authorities on Spanish obscenities, this hack can confirm that the lingo does indeed offer a deep well of abuse from which to draw.

However, as anyone who's ever been in the average Iberian hostelry can attest, the practice of abusing staff is not something which generally requires a management invitation.

Tito, owner of my own preferred watering hole, recently decided to indulge in some light faffing with the coffee machine in lieu of serving a local builder, which provoked this tirade of earthy obscenities: "Oye, cabrón, ponme una puta cerveza o te corto los putos huevos, gilipollas de la puta mierda."

For the record, this is not considered particularly rude, so the good burghers of Cullera will certainly have to work hard to earn their free booze. ®

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