Feeds

Catholic social club ousts coven of witches

Witchy knees-up 'not compatible' with church ethos

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

The Diocese of Shrewsbury is risking soured milk and sickly cattle after deciding a coven of witches could not hold its annual shindig on Catholic premises.

The Crystal Cauldron, led by High Priestess Sandra Davis, booked the Our Lady's Social Club in Shaw Heath, Stockport for the Witches' Ball, scheduled for October. According to the Telegraph, when she rang to sort the £175 payment, she was told to find an alternative venue for the pagan knees-up.

A furious Davis, who'd already printed tickets for the event, hubbled and bubbled: "I'm appalled. My congregation is shocked that in this day and age there can be such religious discrimination. We're normal people who follow an earth-based religion and want to enjoy ourselves.

"We thought we were bridging the gap with other religions but misconceptions still exist, like we sacrifice animals. Does the church check everyone's beliefs before allowing them in the club?"

She added: "Now we need another venue for at least 100 people with a stage for entertainment. At this point that's going to be very difficult."

That's too bad, according to the Diocese of Shrewsbury's Reverend John Joyce, who confirmed: "Parish centres under our auspices let their premises on the understanding users and their organisations are compatible with the ethos and teachings of the Catholic church. In this instance, we aren't satisfied such requirements are met."

We'd like to suggest the Crystal Cauldron forms an unholy alliance with the Somerset Yum Yum Yoga group which was in 2007 similarly barred from a Baptist church hall for "promoting other spiritualities" with its hideous "unchristian" practices.

This combined heathen force would doubtless be able - through striking potent asanas in front of a steaming cauldron of witches' brew - be able to conjure a spirit of peace and love between the UK's myriad faiths. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Internet Security Threat Report 2014
An overview and analysis of the year in global threat activity: identify, analyze, and provide commentary on emerging trends in the dynamic threat landscape.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.